Health Compass

We drink, we drug, we eat, we distract, anything to numb the pain, pain that we may not even be aware of. Something comes online. Another version of ourselves. An internal warmth. A sense of connection to the outside.

Because all we want is to not feel alone. Not “be alone”, verb, action. We want to stop feeling “I AM alone.” Noun. Description. Permanent state.

Because no matter your childhood trauma, you learned that happiness, fulfillment, love, existed from other people. Your connection to your true, loving self, was severed or interrupted. Usually the shame that comes with trauma furthers that disconnect, believing we aren’t even worthy of receiving anything.

When we lack this sense of self, of self love, we don’t feel safe. We don’t feel worthy. We feel fundamentally different and disconnected. So we numb. With avoidance attachment we pull back from everyone to protect ourselves. With anxious attachment , we desperately seek connection any way we can. It will look different for everyone. But somewhere along the way we lost the sense that we were enough, that we could provide anything we needed to ourselves. That we were always going to be okay. And that connection was safe, not something to be urgently grasped at or run from.

Some of us have done the work as adults that we believe in ourselves, at least cognitively. But checking in with those deeper parts of the psyche, does being with yourself feel like enough? If not, you’re projecting it onto life somewhere, and continuously making the choice to come home to yourself, not from a state of loneliness, but from a state of real true fulfillment, can make the difference between happiness and constant struggle.

After 21 months of “wtf” with my health, I feel better. After 16 years of “I’m sick”, I don’t feel sick anymore.

Am I still tired sometimes ? Yes. And I still healing? Yes. Is there still more work to do? Yes. But I’m finding myself wanting to work more. Being more helpful. Feeling desire to exercise.

8 years ago I experienced a spontaneous remission of Interstitial Cystitis, and ever since then have stood largely alone on my soapbox that trauma and our mind/set cause illness.

While working with my signature healing process one month ago I uncovered the secret of why I had been sick all this time.
It validated my entire experience, and why this is my work.

Trauma is the answer. Your beliefs are the answer. Healing, facing your shadows, feeling uncomfortable, trying something new. These are the answers.

As long as you are willing to face yourself, no matter the consequences, you will find a way to feel better again. Doesn’t matter if it’s your health, your mental health, your relationships, YOU have the answers.

If you want to go this deep, DM me for more information on how to get started💜

Whatever you’re resisting, whatever your ego says “no” to, is the medicine you need.

Not a soft, body, illogical, intuitive no. An automatic, impulsive ick “no.” That’s the ego.

You don’t have to do it the way most people do. Or in the way your life offers it to you first. Get creative, problem solve, face the resistance / do the thing in a way that resonates with your soul.

The obstacle is always the way.

The last 8 months has been a gauntlet of healing. Emotional, physical, spiritual, financial, energetic. If it weren’t for knowing how many peoples lives I’m going to change, I probably would have rather not. Since creating my signature inner child protocol last year, I’ve been deep in that realm. The place where everything that made us who we are lives. The wounds we remember, and many that we don’t. Others that we hide from. Seems I’ve been in inner child initiation. Finding the layers upon layers of wounded parts and beliefs. Each of them essentially the same, but stored differently in the body, and expressed differently in emotions, behaviors and reality. I’m unworthy. That was the first. Thought I was done! Hells no. I’m not important. I’m not enough. I’m unloveable. I’m unsafe. I’m bad. I don’t deserve love. It’s honestly shocking how someone with an objectively great childhood and privilege can feel this bad about themselves. But here we are. I have a whole new toolkit of badass, life changing ideas to share with people are who sick of their own bs. Link in bio.