Making Room for Grief

As I’m posting this, other lessons are popping up so I’ll definitely do a part two!! What was your biggest lesson.

Please save and share with some who needs it♥️

"I came across a post that said, 'I miss the person I was before loss,' and it hit me hard. It made me genuinely sad because, honestly, I do miss the version of me who didn't know the weight of such a profound loss. The one who didn't have to constantly fear what life might throw my way. The 'me' who used to move through life, ticking off tasks like they were routine. But here I am, in this pit again, and I couldn't help but cry out to God, asking Him to help me climb out of it.

So, during my quiet prayer time, I began to wonder who I was before all of this. Did I have a perfect life back then? No, it was far from perfect, and I shouldn't sugarcoat it. But, you know what? It definitely wasn't this painfully overwhelming. My heart still aches from the loss, and it's hard to find peace sometimes.

And then, I found myself pondering who I will become after this loss. Will I ever be able to experience genuine joy again? Can good things still happen to me, and if they do, how can I embrace them when my heart is still heavy with grief? Will I remain in sorrow indefinitely?

But then, my mind brought forth these verses, these promises to hold on to:

'See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.' - Isaiah 43:19 (NIV)

'Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.' - Philippians 1:6 (NIV)

And in that moment, it hit me. According to His word, I will experience joy again. There's enough space for it, even alongside my grief for my angel baby. I need to choose love and stand firm on these promises. Yeah, the place I'm in right now feels like a challenging wilderness, but I have faith that God is still working in my life, and that's something truly meaningful." 🙏💔

No one told me that I would find it difficult to celebrate my birthday after my child died! Two weeks prior to my birthday I had all these raw and heavy feelings about the date that was to come and I absolutely dreaded it! I’m always happy to celebrate my birthday but this one gave me a really bitter taste.

As the day got closer, I got in touch with my feelings and reflected that;

1. It hurt so bad because I didn’t want to enter a new age where my baby boy wasn’t with me. He will always be stuck at 9 months and I felt like I’m leaving him behind.

2. Why were the past three years of my life catastrophic! Losing a father and a child! As in???? How much loss can one take and does this mean that i am “vaccinated” from more grief in my lifetime! I mean, 30 is pretty young to think all problems are over! So now I’m holding my breath in anticipation of the other shoe that might drop.

3. This wasn’t the life I envisioned. My life took a whole 180 degrees turn to a place I have no idea about! When my dad passed, I tried to get back to normal and as I was still that out my son died.. Now, that really threw me off. How does one purport to recover from that? My life got rearranged in so many ways, I moved countries, left my work and friends, found out I was 9 weeks pregnant and gave birth to another son. Wow, all that happened in a year, and it felt like 7 years !
As I rolled down this pit of anguish, I reminded myself to hold on to the promise that “God is not done until it’s good” from the scripture of Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭28‬ ‭NIV‬‬ “.. we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” And this song by plus this article

https://www.theporch.live/blog/if-its-not-good-gods-not-done

‭‭I didn’t stop feeling the fangs of grief, but I got out of bed and was grateful for the positive things that happened for me that year. I had an intimate birthday dinner with family and friends, but it was still a sh*tty birthday!