Atef Halaka

The unfiltered truth.

Hodgetwins on Twitter “This is why they banned him off FB and Instagram. Can’t have another truth teller out there.”

I read this on LinkedIn today, soooooo sad. Don’t do this please, you maybe LOVED and just don’t realize it.
__________________________________________________________________________


Sam Cande
This is the saddest and hardest post I will ever write. I think this message is so important to share on this platform. You will see why.

This weekend my best friend Jenni Joynt MCIPS took her own life.

Even though she told me the day before that she was ok, even though she was starting a new job, and had so much to live for and had a loving and supportive family and so many friends that cared about her and loved her dearly, she still decided to end her unexplainable pain.

Jenni's family have said that it was ok to share the devastating
loss here. I also want to share some of the demons Jenni discussed with me and some thoughts about how we can support those going through mental health, in the hope that it may help others in their darkest hours.

Jenni felt that the world was against her, she felt she wasn't
good enough, that she wasn’t accepted, that she was draining, that she wasn’t valued, that she drove people mad, that she wasn’t loved, that she was a burden, that she wasn't deserving and more. She wasn’t any of those. Myself and many others told her that every day.

Jenni was the most beautiful, caring, kind, funny, capable, clever, driven, hard-working, passionate, adventurous women that I knew. She lit up a room when she walked into it. She was the life and soul of a party. We had so much fun going to networking events which is where I got to know her 7 years ago, at a business travel conference. We formed a strong friendship immediately and had the same cheeky sense of humour.

Over the last few years, so many people have struggled and the world doesn’t seem to be letting up.

For those that work with people that are struggling, please give them the support they need. Don’t let your colleagues and employees go off sick and not reach out to them. Do tell them how much they’re missed and you can’t wait for them to feel strong enough to come back. Make every employee feel valued, tell them their work matters and they matter, find ways to include them in the team, fill their days with meaningful work. Bring your colleagues in close, they need you now more than ever. Check on people working from home as it can be lonely. Have regular check ins and create communities of support at work.

If you can, offer mental health support or share places people can find the help they need. Get mental health training so you know how to deal with someone who’s suffering.

I am not blaming anyone here. Jenni's demons went deeper than work but I hope this message can give some insight into what mental health can look like and don’t be scared to reach out to people suffering, you may just save their life.

I'm re sharing in the comments a Sustain Talks with Matt Holman in memory of my beautiful friend Jenni which is all about mental health. Plus some other helpful links.

I couldn’t save Jenni but I hope this may be able to save someone else.

My door is always open to anyone that needs to talk.

***deawareness ***de

Accountability: One of the most misunderstood words in the English language, I believe.
When we think of the phrase “hold accountable” and how it is used in our culture, you will quickly recognize that it has a “negative” connotation. For examples: “We will hold those evil doers accountable for what they did” GEORGE BUSH after 9/11. “This defendant must be held accountable for his actions” DISTRICT ATTORNEYS. “I will hold you accountable for the success of the sales team this year” A BOSS IN A SALES ORIENTED ORGANIZATION. I am sure I can find a million examples of how the phrase is used in a “bad” or “negative” light to say the least.
Dictionary’s definition:
ac·count·a·ble
/əˈkoun(t)əb(ə)l/
adjective
(Of a person, organization, or institution) required or expected to justify actions or decisions; responsible.
"Parents could be held accountable for their children's actions"
Similar: responsible, liable, answerable, chargeable, to blame, reporting
subject
under the charge of, bound to obey, obeying, bound by.
Opposite:
Unaccountable
When we examine what the real meaning of the word “accountable,” it should mean a positive ACTION NOT a negative CONSEQUENCE.
We, as a society use the word as a consequence to a bad behavior or deed. When in reality, the word is an action, and that action is owned ONLY by the person who holds himself/herself ACCOUNTABLE for what they are ABOUT to do, NOT what they already have or have not done.
To hold ourselves “accountable” for something we already did, is an oxymoron. A punishment or any other remedy for something we already did, is a CONSEQUENCE not ACCOUNTABILITY.
We can hold someone RESPONSIBLE for something they did, but we cannot hold them ACCOUNTABLE. In fact, we can only hold ourselves ACCOUNTABLE for what we are ABOUT to do. We cannot hold anyone else accountable for anything.
The only time I heard the phrase used correctly is, when it is used to “hold oneself accountable for what they will do next.” It makes all the sense in the world when you hear a football coach, for example, saying, “I will hold myself accountable for my team’s poor play today and that will start immediately as soon as this press conference is over.” It means, he will hold himself accountable for coaching the team better so they may perform better in the NEXT game. On the other hand, if he said, “I hold myself accountable for my team’s loss today,” that would not make any sense because, what does that mean? Is he going to fire himself? Is he going to trade himself to another team? It does not mean anything at all.
The bottom line is, we must hold ourselves accountable for what we are about to do or commit to do.
I can hold myself accountable for my success and my failure ONLY going forward. If I have good or terrible things happening in my life now due to my PAST successes or failures, these are CONSEQUENCES NOT ACCOUNTABILITIES.
Going forward, say to yourself “I am holding myself accountable for my FUTURE success, I can’t hold anyone else accountable.”
When wonderful things happen to you, say “I am now recognizing the consequences of my PREVIOUS work or actions”
Please share if this makes sense to you or please retort if you feel it doesn’t make sense. Thank you

I was 16 years old, in 1976, when my family asked my uncle Ramsey to help us migrate to the United States as he did back in 1968. It took two years of paperwork and back and forth between the Egyptian government and the United States government to vet us out as a family to make sure we were a good fit for the United States culture and economy. Yes, that is how it was back then.
My family migrated to the United States in 1978, I had just finished high school and had no clue what I want to do with my future. I wanted to be an engineer like my father but where I came from, you had to score extremely high marks on the Egyptian equivalent of the American SAT exam to be accepted at an Engineering school.
It was to my pleasant surprise to learn that I can study more, take the SAT and then be able to go to Engineering school here in the wonderful USA.
But wait, there is a couple of challenges that I must overcome first. The largest of them was the language. I had to learn the English language first before I can study and take an exam.
I spent the following year and half working the graveyard shift at a chrome plating factory, carrying steel from one end of the factory (the warehouse portion) to the other end of the factory (where the platting tanks were). During the day I slept for a while, watched "One life to Live" on TV for an hour every day and then read a translation book or articles or something that would help me convert, in my mind, the Arabic language into the English equivalent so I may learn. I also enrolled into an "English as a second language class" at the local Community College as well as the local free night school for foreigners.
In 1980 I finally was able to enroll and attend a BS Engineering program at, the state college of New Jersey or, what was then known as, Trenton State College.
1985. Yes, 1985 was THE BEST YEAR IN MY LIFE. Not only I graduated with my Engineering degree but MUCH more importantly, this was the year I became a US Citizen. Wow, some may say, “good for you” or “Congratulations,” or “welcome to the USA Citizenship,” etc.… None of that would have been even CLOSE to how I felt that day and STILL feel today 37 years later.
What does USA Citizenship mean to me then and now? Becoming a US Citizen to me, meant that I finally achieved my biggest goal in life, achieved the pinnacle of success, I am at the top of the world, I am FREE, I am LIBERATED, I am RESPONSIBLE, I have no EXCUSES to peruse the life I always dreamt of, I have no excuses to PURSUE whatever I define as HAPPINESS, I can SPEAK my mind without fear, I can do ANYTHING, within the law, and not be afraid, I simply can finally be………………………………………………. ME.
Today, I try extremely hard, every day, to practice what I preach. I do my best to speak my mind without offending others, to continue to pursue my dreams, continue to pursue my happiness, continue to tell everyone who would listen, about this GREAT country and what all it has to offer. Yes, we have our own challenges in this country like any other country but having lived or extensively stayed in the far east, Europe, Africa, and South and central America, I can say without hesitation that I still live in the GREATEST Country in the world.
Today, I have my own small business, after working for corporate America for the better part of 35 years, I am free to worship or not worship whomever I want, I have a strong spirit, I have a strong body for a 62-year-old male, I have a strong mind, I have a strong soul and a strong emotional balance in my life.
I invite you ALL today, to celebrate with me, the fact that we walk up this morning to realize once gain that we were either lucky enough to be born here or blessed enough to have migrated to the GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD> If you agree with me or feel the way I do, please comment back with your feelings.