She.Writes.Chaos

The Alchemy of Pain

My 40th birthday is next month, and I've been working with my partners to plan something special. Miss, Sir, myself, and two friends will all be attending Kink Weekend in Oklahoma City next month. I haven't seen any of them except for Miss since September of last year, and I have been looking forward to all of us being in the same space again....

The Alchemy of Pain My 40th birthday is next month, and I’ve been working with my partners to plan something special. Miss, Sir, myself, and two friends will all be attending Kink Weekend in Oklahoma City next m…

The Weight of the Leash: The Ethics of Emotional Surrender

Trusting someone with my body has never felt as terrifying to me as trusting someone with my mind. Maybe that sounds strange coming from someone involved in B**M. People outside of kink often assume the greatest vulnerability in these dynamics comes from physical acts: restraints, pain, helplessness, exposure, fear. They look at rope, impact, biting, authority, and surrender and assume the body is where the real risk lives....

The Weight of the Leash: The Ethics of Emotional Surrender Trusting someone with my body has never felt as terrifying to me as trusting someone with my mind. Maybe that sounds strange coming from someone involved in B**M. People outside of kink often assum…

What’s in Our Dungeon Bag?

One level of relationship escalation I never expected was combining dungeon bags. People talk about moving in together. Sharing finances. Meeting families. Combining bookshelves. But no one warns you that one day you are going to look at your partner and realize:“Oh. We do enough kink together that we don’t need to keep all the toys separate.” And somehow that realization feels deeply intimate....

What’s in Our Dungeon Bag? One level of relationship escalation I never expected was combining dungeon bags. People talk about moving in together. Sharing finances. Meeting families. Combining bookshelves. But no one warns y…