Ratchet Dollar Menu

Not to continue on about UFOs, but fk it. They should jump on board with Uber and Lyft. Could you imagine catching a flying saucer to Waffle House at 2am? 🤩 👽 🛸

They could call it something cool like:
Beam’ers, or The Sauce, or Ur-Anus! The last one works well as a double pun bc of how payment would work.

They only charge a probing fee. Don’t worry! Don’t worry. It’s just the tip 😉

I hiked at Devil’s Den State Park last Saturday. The following day I watched a UFO documentary. On one of the episodes it mentioned that very same spot and that some MF’s were abducted by some aliens that fly a big ass triangle around. I’m thinking, “damn. Why didn’t they come pick me up??” I’ve got some questions and UFO design ideas I think they’d be interested in.

Recently made the mistake of using pumpkin spice instead of the usual spice blend for my séances.

Now I’ve got spirits of basic white girls in yoga pants wandering around asking if everything is vegan.

Y’all, meet my late night fruity-call. He’s called Fruit by the Foot bc shawty is hung AF. 👅 I’m posting it so my mans can get jealous bc I feel like starting some s**t tonight.

Happy FruitInfidelity Friday! 😈