A Bit Chelsea

I am bigger than my irritations. I am bigger than my typical reaction. And when I am at a point I cannot handle it is okay to step back and enjoy what is around me.

Days will test me and I won’t always rise above, but I will strive for just that

There was a time when I wouldn’t do something bc someone wasn’t with me. If I had to do it alone. And it was always so odd since I never had a problem going to eat by myself…but making memories; I wanted someone there. I’d wait around for them to answer. I’d ask the wrong people that I wanted to be with more than others and then those people ultimately never came through and I missed out on other opportunities with people who would have been there if I had reached out. Or I missed out on doing the things. I’d just sit at home in front of the tv, drink some wine and pretend that was the plan all along.

I am NOT that person anymore. That person was desperate for love and life in all the wrong places. Ultimately it was with me all along. Nowadays I just make the split second choice to do something and I just GO and do it on my own.

….Well…With Nigel by my side. And it’s been liberating and helpful to his training. With another person there I feel rushed and he underperforms bc I don’t spend the time it takes to keep him calm.

Loneliness is a mindset. One that can be changed. One that won’t always mean the same thing. One that should be embraced at times so we can find a new place.

🚣