Paul Hugens Authentic Counselor

Hello Everyone, You may or may not be aware, but there is a great deal of political discord in Nicaragua, (A country I occasionally visit to teach some Psychology Classes). Recently I was asked to write a quick piece for the community there about how to talk to children and elders about the situation,(riots and shootings by police.) Here it is.

What to say to the very young and the very old:

As political tensions and violence mount in Nicaragua, we are faced with a question that is always present but seems especially poignant right now. How do we protect the most vulnerable from the evils that surround us.

By Vulnerable, I mean children and elderly, by Evils I mean death, destruction and discord which cannot be hidden from them. Anyone who turns on the news or in some places even looks out at the street, knows for certain that trouble is brewing in their world.

The very young, infirmed, or very old may not have the resources to comprehend what is happening, if it is a good thing or a bad thing. Perhaps what the will be most aware of is the stress that is effecting those who care for them.
So here are some tips:

1) Do not lie: Children and the Elderly know when you are lying; many of them rely more closely on intuitive cues such as body language and facial expressions that you cannot hide. Lying about situations, will only serve to aggravate and confuse them. And most likely will make you feel worse about yourself which they will surely pick up on.

2) Keep it simple: The simplest and easiest explanations will be the best. For example, you could say. “The people outside are Angry because they don’t feel that they are being heard by the people in charge.” Be prepared that you may get responses that have a simplicity and wisdom you might not expect.

3) Stay calm yourself: Realize that children, the elderly, and the infirm are going to be more sensitive to the environment in the home than anywhere else. You may not be able to stop what’s going on outside, but as an adult, you are responsible to navigate your own fears and feelings. It’s hard, but try breathing, try stepping away, try not vent your frustrations to those who are dependent upon your stability.

4) Be reassuring: All anyone really wants to know that is that they will be safe and cared for. Let your loved ones know that they are safe and that you will protect them. It may do well to remind yourself as well.

Paul Brooke Hugens, MA
is a professor of Psychology at Keiser University in Nicaragua
and also has a Private Psychotherapy Practice