The Loom Therapy Practice

So often people start therapy because they want to change behaviors that feel unhelpful or even harmful to themselves and others. In discussing that desire for change and what has prompted someone to feel ready for that, people can often be self-critical about their current behaviors. I believe one of the first steps in preparing for change is to honor those original behaviors and be self-compassionate. Typically those behaviors were once our best option at trying to feel safe within ourselves, our relationships, and the world.

One of the vital parts of therapy is learning to hold the "both and" of what it means to be human. We can honor and be self-compassionate regarding the behaviors and patterns that helped us get to this current point in our lives, and at the same time acknowledge that those behaviors no longer serve us and we need something different to continue to nurture ourselves. By better understanding the function of those behaviors and patterns we want to change and being compassionate towards ourselves, we are able to befriend ourselves and set the stage for growth and change.

I’ve been reading ’s latest book, Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience, and have been loving the beautiful quote cards within it. The focus of my work has always been on connection. There is strength and healing in connection. There is courage in connection, especially in a culture such as the US that prioritizes independence. There is vulnerability and beauty in connection. I’m grateful for all the people I get to be in connection with, both inside and outside of the therapy room.