Loving Out Loud

Contrary to popular belief open relationships have a much lower divorce rate than monogamous ones. That's because cheating is one of the leading causes of breakups. We don't avoid temptation, we look at it soberly. Our ongoing 12 year relationship is made possible due to radical honesty and direct communication. Truthfully who really has never been attracted to anyone else but their current partner? You really think multiple people won't come across your path that you won't connect with in deep transformative ways? And if you really love someone, wouldn't you want them to live a full-life as much as possible? Possessiveness is cowardice. It's much better to let them go out there; see if they honor your relationship when the bars of the cage are let down.
I love that he always comes back to me by choice, no matter who he dates. That's real love.
I have a theory that open relationships last longer because passion is constantly reignited, as you're not with them as often as in a traditional monogamous nesting relationship. Nick lives between me and his girlfriend. He also travels abroad a lot. So whenever I see him, our time isn't taken for granted, and there are so many exciting stories we can relay to each other. He's truly my best-friend.
Also if you're constantly dating new people, you gotta maintain yourself. Monogamous people tend to let go of themselves after finding their spouses because they feel there is no point further. While we believe your sexual evolution doesn't stop at 30. Domesticity does lower testosterone. Which is why sometimes people cheat; they want to rejuvenate themselves. But that quick fix leads to long term issues. Non-monogamy is the ability to have the best of both worlds. Our long term partnerships ensure secure attachment oxytocin, but because we're not nested nor locked into a routine we are not boring out our dopamine, serotonin and testosterone levels. That's the secret to 12 years of a passionate love affair.
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