Illinois Sheriffs' Association

Champaign County Sheriff's Office - way to knock it out of the park with these posts! For sure option #3 would command attention!

The deputies at the Champaign County Sheriff's Office have been working hard to convince command that it’s time to consider new hats for the deputies. Like the 70's s**g carpet that your grandparents still have, our current hats feel like they need a little updating.

Because let’s be honest…the hat makes the deputy.

As Benjamin Franklin probably once said:
“Hats are what established this great nation. Without them, we wouldn’t have defeated the British.”

Don’t look that quote up. Trust me, bruh…it’s legit(ish).

Anyways, we figured we’d let the community decide.

🚔 OPTION 1: The Cowboy Hat
Walker, Texas Ranger wore one. Jimmy Trivette wore one. Those men solved crimes every single week in under an hour. Coincidence? I think not. Personally, this is the only reasonable option. These guys had aura. Just reeking of it. If I had a cowboy hat...ain't nobody calling me Squints ever again.

⚔️ OPTION 2: Medieval Knight Helmet
Maximum officer safety. That chainmail mullet-neck flap? It's a real beaut...Nobody’s getting an arrow or spear past that. Sure, visibility is terrible and the metal is a little heavy…but these worked for several hundred years, so the science checks out.

🎩 OPTION 3: The Bearskin Hat
Imagine getting pulled over and THIS steps out of the squad car. Intimidation level: immediate. Downside? We may need taller squad cars. Upside? Not a lot…but you could probably store some snacks in there.
Foot pursuits: 0/10.

🇬🇧 OPTION 4: British Police Helmet
The Brits seem to like these, so we figured we’d give them a shot. Very classy. Very proper. Very posh. Honestly, we might offer you some bland tea and crumpets in lieu of a speeding ticket.
(Does anyone even know what a crumpet is? Never seen one at Panera. Probably not even a real thing.)

🧙 OPTION 5: Wizard Hat
We are all Team Gryffindor here. If Harry Potter can defeat He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, then surely I can catch the guy that keeps fleeing from me on that e-scooter.
I’m on to you, buddy…Petrificus Totalus

🚒 OPTION 6: Full Firefighter Helmet
This feels wrong… yet right at the same time. I can see why firefighters like wearing these. I mean, anyone can put the wet stuff on the hot stuff…I could do that...maybe I should’ve tested to be a firefighter. I mean they get to take naps at work.

So…what are we thinking, community? Which hat should we recommend to command for our future hat? Cough-Cowboy Hat-Cough (sorry seasonal allergies).