CompassionWorks

💡 External regulation isn't a failure of self-regulation. For a dysregulated nervous system, it's often the prerequisite.

🦎 Lizards know this. They can't generate their own body heat — so they move between sun and shade, using the environment to do what their body can't do alone.

Many of our clients live the same way inside their Window of Tolerance (Siegel, 1999): not by self-regulating, but by moving toward and away from external conditions.
A specific person. A room. A texture. A pet. A quiet car ride.

We sometimes treat this as a phase to outgrow. But for some nervous systems, mapping those external regulators IS the work — the foundation that has to come before window expansion is even on the table.

In June, the work is often:

➡️ Noticing what your client uses as their "sun" and "shade"
➡️ Treating those external regulators as legitimate clinical material
➡️ Building toward an expanded window on a timeline the nervous system actually supports

🗨️ What's your go-to external resource for helping a client regulate? Drop it in the comments — let's build a list together.

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Reference: Siegel, D. J. (1999). The Developing Mind. Guilford Press.

May's animal is the hummingbird. 🐦

Beautiful. Fast. Constantly moving. And quietly exhausted.

Hummingbirds are the only birds that have to enter torpor — a deep rest state — just to survive the night. Without it, their bodies would give out from their own pace.

👀 Sound like anyone you know? Maybe a client. Maybe yourself.

High-functioning isn't free. Every sympathetic push has a cost — and rest isn't a reward for productivity. It's the thing that makes productivity possible.

👉 Do you recognize the "hummingbird crash" in your clients — or in yourself? Let's discuss in the comments.

Save this and share it with someone who needs the reminder. 💚