First Steps Postpartum Care

Sometimes it’s hard to look at a tiny infant and realize this little baby is an actual person with likes, dislikes, reactions, and a personality.

Many don’t see beyond “baby” until their child is walking and talking and can better communicate their likes and dislikes. But babies are already fully formed humans with preferences and fears and it helps to think about treating them the way we would want to be treated. They deserve the same level of human respect we give to adults.

How does this translate to a baby?

Tell the baby what’s going on. In other words, narrate your day together, warn them that you’re going to pick them up, change them, feed them, wash them. Let them know what’s about to happen and keep a calm steady commentary as you go through the day. Babies understand much earlier than we might believe and they will communicate earlier if we give them the chance.

Hear them, don’t just fix them. You don’t need to pacify or shush every cry. Sometimes babies need to cry to release energy and it’s comforting to be held and listened to. If you can stay calm while your baby is crying, many will cry themselves out within minutes. (obviously make sure they are ok first, check that they are not wet, cold,hot, hungry) Crying is the only way babies have to release energy. Usually when I encounter a baby that cries “for no reason” they later turn out to be a very active toddler. If you can, stay calm and sit in their crying season with them. (Wearing noise canceling headphones will help a parent stay calm.) Staying with them through tears is also a great trust builder, showing your infant that you can take their big feelings.


Give them space to initiate and interact with themselves and the world on their own. Give babies space to move their body and have uninterrupted thoughts and daydreams. They need time to stare at their hands and figure out how they work, or watch the leaves in the trees outside the window. If your baby is lying on the floor or in their crib happily looking at their fingers, now is not the time to swoop them up and change their diaper. Give them that uninterrupted time with their own thoughts.