Unforgettable View Country Inn & Spa

People I need your honest opinion. It's not political. I had an idea of making an ad for my massage therapy practice.
How do you think people would perceive this? Do you think that they would be offended or would they find it funny and catchy? If you think I'd be perceived as offensive please let me know.

Text:
I may not dress like the Red Cross doctor clearly
depicted below. Nor have hands that glow like all doctors hands do....
However, with my therapeutic expertise, I do have the power to lay my hands on you and make all your tension and stress disappear. Perhaps even dare to say: "heal" you of your aches and pains.
Treat yourself and Call today to rejuvenate your well-being with an exceptional out of this world massage experience at Unforgettable View Country Spa.

865-471-8439
www.UnforgettableView.com/massage

Unforgettable View Country Inn & Spa Wedding Venue. Country Inn, Country Spa,
Bed and Breakfast. Cabin. Nightly rentals.

www.UnforgettableView.com

Dear friends from Florida, Texas, Georgia, Kentucky, Alabama, and all other states: did you know our cottages have some of the best views in the Smoky Mountains?!
This is a small sampling of the Unforgettable View you can experience this coming weekend under the enchantment of a blanket of snow. If you have dreamed of witnessing snow in a magical setting, do not miss this opportunity. Please do not hesitate to contact me. Here in magical Wears Valley we are in preparation and anticipation of this extraordinary event. You may reach me by phone or direct message. We are ready to provide you with a warm welcome next to a cozy fireplace while the snow falls outside!

Book online for a 15% no booking fee discount with houfy at www.UnforgettableView.com
Or call 865-471-8439

Wears Valley Cabins - Unforgettable View Country Inn and Spa Top Rated and Comfortable Cabins With a Beautiful Wears Valley Scene. We create unique and Unforgettable Smoky Mountains Vacations.