The Gottman Institute
06/10/2026
A lot of couples communicate all day long without actually feeling emotionally known.
Conversations slowly become about schedules. Responsibilities. Groceries. Bills. Logistics. Who’s picking up what. What time you need to leave. What still needs to get done.
And while those conversations matter, emotional intimacy needs something deeper too.
“I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately.”
“I miss spending time together.”
“Something’s been weighing on me recently.”
“I’ve actually been really excited about…”
Dr. Gottman calls this building Love Maps: continuing to stay curious about your partner’s inner world as they grow and change over time.
This month’s Love Notes is all about expressing yourself, communicating your feelings and needs more openly, and reconnecting with who you are both individually and together.
Comment LOVE NOTES and we’ll send it to you 💙
A lot of people assume constant fighting is the biggest threat to a relationship. But emotional distance can sometimes be even more damaging.
Conflict is inevitable in relationships. According to Gottman research, the goal of conflict isn’t to “win,” it’s to better understand each other.
When couples stop trying to understand one another and start emotionally withdrawing instead, that’s often when relationships begin to feel lonely and disconnected.
We shared a blog on the signs of emotional disconnection and how couples can begin rebuilding emotional intimacy. Read here: https://bit.ly/4dupiBa
What’s the difference between attraction and love?
According to Dr. Julie Gottman, attraction is often immediate and physiological. It’s chemistry, curiosity, and the pull you feel toward another person.
But love grows differently. It deepens through understanding someone over time. Their values, experiences, needs, fears, and dreams.
Research from the Gottmans has consistently found that strong relationships are built on friendship, admiration, and truly knowing one another’s inner world.
We asked John and Julie Gottman 30 relationship questions, and this was one of their answers. Watch the full video here: https://bit.ly/4wuS9Om
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