Keeping Animals In Recovery KAIR

A piece of me explained:
This is so true! This was me for years and I remember this sadness. To know someone sees your struggle and asks nothing is heartbreaking. Yet as a survivor Ive learned to be invisible even when I knew was not. It's just easier to pretend to be invisible. However everytime this happens I would go deeper within myself. It's a lonely world to live like that.
Since my healing journey I've learned that with people I know I'm safe to open up too... I'll say the words. "I'm struggling.... I'm depressed... I'm triggered ... I'm anxious etc etc.
My circle has been those people that I can open up too. I'm thankful to have each and every one of them. It's so refreshing to open up without being judged for my struggles and hard moments. They understand it's not not ever was som**hing I chose or choose to live with. It's my reality.
On another note I don't expect anyone in my life to tip toe around MY triggers , MY cPTSD , My moments. Those are up to me to take my power back. So this is my mission in life... to take my power back and spread hope to others to do the same. ~Jennifer Michelle

October I celebrate my voice! I share the pieces of me, my story and my healing to inspire others.
READ…..SHARE….BE AWARE
I wish NO ONE had to experience the theft of their childhood sexual abuse or in**st. ~Jennifer Michelle
The abuse I experienced as a child was my normal. I knew it didn’t feel right and that I was different from other kids. I would watch other children with their parents or Children playing with their friends always thinking I was just different. I often wondered if the other kids, teachers and neighbors could see the sadness inside me. I did have 2 teachers, one in the 3rd grade and one in the 5th who asked questions. Thinking I was in trouble, i covered for my abusers. Back then their was no mandated reporting so me covering for my abusers went no further in that conversation.
For years as an adult I questioned why no one could see my pain. Then as the memories flooded in , came those 2 teachers. They saw it but didnt know what to do from there once I lied. Now looking back at the conversations, I remember not being able to look at them, full of shame and fear. I remember twisting and fidgeting the whole time itching to escape that room and conversation. I wanted to tell them! My God I wanted to blurt it out ! When my third grade teacher approached me I didnt yet understand what to tell her since I was still not informed that this was wrong. When my 5th grade teacher approached me several weeks after an awareness poster and a school mate/ friend informed me that I should tell if these thing happen to me. Those teachers saw som**hing and sensed it enough to pull me aside and ask me the questions. But my perpetrator groomed me so well that I thought I would be in trouble with him. He groomed me to protect him instead of myself. He groomed me to believe I was dirty and it was my fault because “I liked it.” I never liked it but he would tell me over and over he knew I did and thats why he would do the things he did. This is what I was so afraid my teachers would see or think.
When I see stories about the person you were before the abuse, I realize I only have pre CSA at 5 and younger. Even then I was struggling with negligence/ abandonment from my POS birth father. I struggled with the on and off existence with my mother in my life that was always confusing.
Thankfully I did have amazing grandparents that I mostly lived with the first 7 years until mom married my monster.
There’s no do-over for a child’s childhood. Once their innocence is stolen, its gone forever. I’ll never get my childhood back, its gone.
However I will forever speak out for children for both awareness and to be a voice for the 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys who are voiceless at this moment. I will also speak up and out for adult survivors who havent found their voice yet. This takes an enormous amount of courage to do. I know this personally.

Mark your calendars!
This is the only pre sale that we will be having before our purse bingo event on November 23rd at the BrowTine Event Center.
We have very limited seating left, so if you are interested in coming to the event, make sure to have someone at the Milltown Fire Department early!
We have a great event planned and you won't want to miss this!