Ending Stigmas

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Don't confuse communication with connection.

Social media platforms are communication platforms. They are not connecting platforms.

Relationships are the only anecdote to combat loneliness, chronic instability and the uncertainty - even anxiety - many of us experience. The more we feel part of something, the less isolated, lonely, and depressed we are.

This reduces alcohol and drug use, self-harm, su***de, and loss of relationships with those we love most.
- Want to come over?
- Are you busy?
- What do you have going on?

That is code for someone who needs a few minutes of support during a hard time. When someone is struggling, laying their troubles on someone else is the last thing they want to do. They need someone to talk to, talk with, cry, laugh, or just be there.

We tend to avoid making calls for fear that will be taking too much of someone's day. Therefore, we go weeks - months - and even years not talking to those most important to us.

There have been surveys done to show how effective and relieving 8 mins of time is and can be exactly what is needed to help someone feel like they are back on track.

Think of a person you love: someone you miss, someone you wish you connected with more often. Send that person a text asking if they can chat for 8 mins.... Ideally today, but if not, schedule it within the next 24 hours!

Make the call, honor the time, sign off at 8 minutes and schedule your next catch up session!

Dr. Bob Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School said that most busy people tend to think that in some unspecified future, we'll have a time surplus where we'll be able to connect with old friends. That may never materialize, he said, so pick up the phone and invest the time right now.

Connectedness is medicine

7.
That's the number of treatment centers he went to.
7 times to fight the mental illness that provoked addiction.

Each time he walked in feeling low, walked out with hope, and soon became defeated because he couldn't break his own chains.
The comfort of his endless cycle of setbacks, stuck ess, and shame was the zone he preferred by that point.
Then something shifted one day as he sat in a dark room, alone and empty....

He realized no one was going to save him and the only people left around him were the people doing the same as him. They were ok with him rotting his life away because...they were, too, and it was comfortable.
He had to dig deep and face the dark parts of himself.
And the previous failures didn't mean he couldn't attempt one more time. They meant progress isn't linear and healing takes time.

One choice at a time and one meal at a time eventually meant slowly but surely he was stacking the days in favor of building a new life.
Sober. Clean. Meaningful.

He's now free from the lies he told to himself and everyone else. If you're struggling, it doesn't matter how many times you've failed.

Your story is powerful when you tell about all the times you got back up whether it's 1 or 7 or 12.

You're worth it.
Keep

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He told me life was feeling extra heavy. Everywhere he went, he felt like he doesn't belong and it's obvious that he's the odd one out.

He doesn't look forward to holidays, birthdays, or any kind of gathering. In fact, they create an anxious feeling that he feels the need to make an excuse to not attend.

Being in company with people who are celebrating is a reminder to him how far in life he is from where he really wants to be.

His stress was getting heavier and depression was setting into every corner of his life.

He was grieving the light, joyful person he used to be. He missed that guy who used to laugh easily and smiled often.

He longed for that version of himself but thought he's so far away, he'll never be able to catch up.

He messaged me for help to get out of this rut I'm an attempt to live life again.
We aren't playing catch up and we're not trying to find who he used to be. We're working on creating the person he's meant to be. Now.