TCF #1114

Tomorrow (Tuesday the 26th) we will have our regular 4th Tuesday zoom meeting at 7 p.m. DM if you need the link.

May Newsletter -

05 May 2026.pdf

grief weeds out your circle. it’s always the ones who haven’t experienced true loss that are the quickest to judge. you don’t owe anyone an explanation for
surviving the unimaginable.
- makayla de boer
Grief has a way of showing you who can sit with pain… and who only knows how to judge it from a distance.
When you are surviving unimaginable loss, your world changes completely, but many people still expect you to behave as though it hasn’t. They become uncomfortable with your sadness, your anger, your withdrawal, or the way grief has changed you. Not because you are grieving wrong, but because they have never had to carry that kind of pain themselves.
The truth is, grief often weeds out your circle. Some people disappear when your loss no longer feels “recent” enough for them. Others offer opinions about how you should cope, heal, move forward, or behave. But loss changes a person forever, and there is no neat or comfortable way to survive it.
You do not owe anyone an explanation for how hard this is.
You do not owe anyone proof of your pain.
And you do not have to shrink your grief just to make others comfortable.
Sometimes surviving the unimaginable means disappointing people who expected you to stay the same after your world fell apart.
Artist Credit: Unknown AI modified via Pinterest

Grief has seasons.

Not the kind you can track on a calendar.
Not winter, spring, summer, fall.

But the seasons of the soul.

There’s the early season—the stormy one—where everything is loud and raw and sharp. Where tears come without warning, and the pain sits on your chest like a weight that won’t move.

Then comes the quiet season. The outside world seems normal, but you feel like a stranger in it. People think you’re okay again. But inside, it’s still gray. Still empty. Still aching.

There’s the angry season, too. The one where you're mad at everything and nothing. Where you snap, retreat, question everything, and silently scream at the unfairness of it all.

And the numb season—when it doesn’t hurt as much, but you also don’t feel much of anything. You float. You function. You wonder if this is healing or just surviving.

And maybe, eventually… the tender season arrives. Not a season without sadness, but one where the memories bring more warmth than sting. Where the love feels alive, even in the absence.

But here’s what they never told us:

These seasons don’t come in order.
They don’t stay for a set time.
They loop.
They repeat.
They collide.

One day you’re okay.
The next, you’re not.
And that’s not failure.
That’s grief.

Grief doesn’t follow the rules.
But it does follow love.
And love, real love, lasts forever.

So, if you’re in a hard season right now, hold on.
Another one will come.
Not easier… just different.
And eventually, you’ll learn to live in the rhythm of them all.

Written by: Aimee Suyko - In Their Footsteps

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