Innergy Counseling

I recently had a wonderful conversation I had with Carol Dechaine on her podcast Connect2Joy and a great conversation with Laurin W Wittig on her Curiously Wise podcast. I will be posting it also on my website after I complete an upcoming podcast called Living to 100. Check out my podcast page at www.harborglowholistic.com

www.harborglowholistic.com

As events tragically unfold in Ukraine, I initially, found myself in stunned silence and heartbreak, I had to find my own feet. How to be with the fear in my body and the pain in my heart before I could pivot and find something meaningful to offer anyone else. Perhaps some of you relate. Maybe you are still finding your feet.

Ultimately, we cannot stay frozen or distracted. At the most basic level of how our bodies and nervous systems track safety/danger, we don't get away with looking the other way. But to face the fire, so to speak, is to bring our own "tough stuff" to the tough stuff happening in the world. Not traditional toughness: being stoic and detached but instead, finding strength and bravery in feeling the pain of what is occurring while cultivating our own resilience.

As I have said before, there are no easy answers to be found. At least I don't have them. But I do have for you the very things that I am leaning on myself. Touchstones that soothe my nervous system, comfort my heart and get me through with more hope and fortitude than I would have without them. I am hopeful that these same touchstones bring solace to you. I end with a short poem that was shared with me by a dear friend.

Circle up with others and talk about how you are feeling, which can reduce any sense of isolation that would only add to our pain. The experience of being together is powerful and is perhaps one of the most important things we can do. What we are witnessing hurts so much because of our human, intrinsic connectedness to others. Connecting deeply with others then is good, good medicine.
Find a way to contribute so that you don't feel helpless. It doesn't have to be money. Attend a vigil, pray, give blood. Be creative but do something.
When waves of painful feelings, such as deep sadness or anger emerge, remember to let them move through your body. Emotions are transient and if we don't interfere, they have a beginning, middle and end. You may be feeling something hard 2 hours later, but you are keeping yourself emotionally heathy by not shutting your emotions down. This will also leave a space for joy and hope since shutting down one emotion tends to dampen all others.
Lean into and savor (30 seconds without distraction) the "what, when, where and who's" that provide comfort and aid to your nervous system that is likely on higher alert. You can use the very things that exist right now in your life that offer a sense of "goodness, safety and connection".
Zoom out. When we face the fire of human unconsciousness in the form of violence and aggression, it is essential to see the consciousness that also is present. In the case of this situation, what I see is unbelievable bravery, individual and collective resilience and generosity from the world. What do you see?
May you and I bring our most wakeful selves to our lives and this heartbreaking, beautiful world we live in. Here's the poem....

I am washing my face before bed while a county is on fire.

It feels dumb to wash my face and dumb not to.

It has never been this way and it has always been this way.

Someone has always clinked a cocktail glass in one hemisphere as someone loses a home in another,

While someone falls in love in the same apartment building where someone grieves.

The fact that suffering, mundanity and beauty coincide is unbearable and remarkable.

~Mari Andrew

In peace,

Katherine

I want to share with you a powerful story that illuminates what showing up in our tribe can look like when the going gets tough. It is an example of the heart-wrenching hardship of staying with a loved one when they no longer know who we are and when doing so is painful. It’s called “So Nice to Hear Your Voice” and you can check it out at https://www.thisamericanlife.org/737/the-daily/act-two-13.

So Nice to Hear Your Voice - This American Life Dee Brown’s routine is thrown totally out of whack when Covid hits.

For those of you that enjoy podcasts, check out a few that I have had the honor to participate in and now have the pleasure of introducing to you. You can go directly to the interviews from the links provided here or visit my website at: https://harborglowpublishing.com/podcasts for these and others.

~ Choosing Hope Podcast, a powerful conversation with Munira Premji , author of One Woman, Three Cancers: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/choosing-hope-river-to-ocean-with-katherine-jansen-byrkit/id1516508331?i=1000512007302

~ Heart, Soul, Wisdom Podcast, a wonderful dialogue with Moira Sutton: http://moirasutton.com/heart-soul-wisdom-podcast-show/

~ A third conversation with Dick Goldberg on Embracing Death from Insights with Dick Goldberg: https://www.dickgoldbergradio.com/embracing-death/

Embracing Death - Insights with Dick Goldberg How can you learn to accept the process of death and dying instead of fearing it?

I also invite you to embrace the Winter Solstice with a wakeful heart!

Wakefulness in Hibernation

On the shortest day of the year, accompanied by the longest night of the year, the Winter Solstice may be a powerful metaphor for how life has felt for a while. Perhaps you, like me, usually look forward to the winter as a time of quiet and reflection, hibernating if you will, in the form of slowing down, focusing inwardly, and embracing simplicity. But we have had a different kind of year, vastly, and for some there is a sense of restlessness and resistance to more of the same. And though the Winter Solstice offers the hope of more daylight to come, just as vaccinations offer hope for a global pandemic, we still have to walk the walk of being with what is happening right now. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but still being in the tunnel. As I offer in my book, River to Ocean: Living in the Flow of Wakefulness, true mindfulness means being fully present in this moment of life with acceptance. Below are a few practices to help us all hibernate wakefully.

Make accepting what is and practicing mindfulness a conscious choice, which helps move us from a “this is happening to me” mindset to a “this is happening through and for me” one. The energy of being willing is quite different than white knuckling our way through time and circumstance;

As you make the choice to be wakeful during the winter season, imagine listening to what you are feeling such that your willingness to practice mindfulness includes making any changes that would be helpful, such as better self care, practicing boundaries, taking up journaling, less T.V. watching, more time in nature or taking time off. Emotions are a powerful guide to accessing what we need;

Consider this as time to go deeper and be more attuned in your relationship with yourself and others;

Try practicing one act of kindness everyday, in all sorts of forms and see how many days you can stack up;

Finally, ask yourself what have you learned and how you intend to take those learnings into your life and future? Reflecting upon what has been hard, good, enlightening, etc. is how this year offers a transformed future as we eventually arrive on the other side of so much of the adversity we have faced.