Philosopher's Stone

Friends / Acquaintances vs. Family:
We of course, generally speaking, know the difference between the two, however, when problem solving is necessary, we some times unconsciously conflate (confuse) the two. In other wards, we tend to treat or give equal consideration to family and friends alike when their has been a falling-out. There is a pit-fall in thinking family and friends can be resolved in the same way. They are not the same, nor are they equal. There are, of course, many differences between family and friends, I'm only addressing two of the most critical aspects that require differentiation or separation in order to underscore the dynamics between the two.

The two critical areas are, familial bond & Family history. These two attribute are commonly attributed to members of the same tribe. (family) NOT FRIENDS. In a dispute with friends or acquaintances you can simply find a new watering hole, and just move on. However, with family, just moving on has the additional complexity of family bond, and history.Just moving-on, as apposed to finding a solution is highly problematic. Why? By now you probably know the answer, when we refuse reconciliation, and reject a family member, we're not only rejecting the family member, we're unwittingly rejecting our own family bond and throwing our history to the wind.While it's true, in some unfortunate situations, one must call an end to a relationship with a family member keep two things in mind: The relationship doesn't end, it just goes from bad to worse. Secondly, the problem doesn't end, it just goes underground. A learning moment has been lost.

When we talk about the foibles of others we speak volumes, when asked to comment on our own shortcomings, it's a brief conversation. :)

"One of the reason we can criticize others so harshly is because we don't realize our own involvement."

Forgiving the Past:
"We can't forget our negative experiences growing up; how then do we set ourselves free from the past? I think the first step is to realize that the past is not in the past, it's still with us today, in a very real way. We don't have to apologize for who we are as a person, but I think an apology may be in order for those who we have negatively affected. (our children?) Forgiveness is the key. The first person to forgive is ourselves. This has nothing to do with being selfish, unless we forgive ourselves first, we have no forgiveness to give others. We each hold the key to our own freedom."