Colt.Ink

SKIN ≠ PAPER -->
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And we should all be super grateful, because that would be awful. It would crinkle in bed and get mushy in the rain, like those paper straws we all misplaced our good intentions on for that one year. Do you want mushystraw but it's your whole body? Of course not, I'm so glad we're on the same page there, it was really worrying me that you might be into that.

In celebration of the fact that we don't have to worry about mushystrawskin, tattoo artists have been creating non-paper art for hundreds of years. Deliberately designing art that goes on skin presents a few challenges, one of which is called "wrap". It's infuriatingly tricky to conceive a design with wrap and make it an advantage to the art.

The design part does eventually get easier for most artists, but it never gets easier communicating a wrappy idea to non-artists who just don't spend sleepless nights thinking about which parts of their body are the flattest. As a consequence, many tattoos are laid on to conform to planes of the body instead of leaning into its curvy swervy roundiness (a technical term).

This design is objectively cool, and thank you for saying that I really work hard on these it's nice to be appreciated, but it's not the most typical layout for a tattoo. Usually, you'd try to keep points of interest central or on one of the key planes of the body so they're completely in view for the average observer gawking at you on the bus even though you already gave them a sharp but socially acceptable "you lookin at me?" eyebrow flick.

This objectively cool polar bear design you complimented me on earlier is an example of something that probably would end up on a thigh or shoulder blade because of its squarish composition. It's unlikely most would choose to put it on a tricep, because the wrap is extreme and tough to scan for the average bus gawker who doesn't understand etiquette. I think that's a shame, because embracing the wrap really enables an interesting effect.

I apologize for turning this post into a thesis on bendy art, but I needed to do something that seemed really important on my phone until I get to my stop or I run the risk of being talked to on the bus.

GRAPHIC DESIGN IS MY PASSION ->
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Have you considered going outside? If so, I don't totally understand you. That's okay, we're friends, and friends don't have to totally understand each other. I respect your weird outsidey decisions.

If you're an outside-goer, then I'd like to ask you this: have you considered going outside and then, when you get there, eating an absolutely irresponsible amount of psychoactive fungus? In particular, I'd single out fungus like Psilocybe cubensis, a particularly effective way to be irresponsible outside, I'm told. Have you? Then stick around.

Okay, now, having narrowed things down, I have one more question for those who have passed the above checks:

Have you ever considered going outside, hoovering a completely unreasonable amount of mind-juicing magic mycelium, and then - and this is the important bit - thinking about Steve Buscemi?

See, that's the crux of the whole thing; you need to go to the doorless space, make your brain glitter, and then really give Steve Buscemi some serious consideration. If you've done that, and it made you laugh at the time, then you completely understand what this tattoo is about and I can (thankfully) spare myself the indignancy of explaining it. I hate explaining art. Ugh, right?

I love constructivism. That's not a non-sequitur, and, even if it was, I thought we were friends and friends don't have to totally understand each other? I can't digress? You've changed, man.

Listen, I love constructivism. And, through that lens, I found a superpower: a coherent way to express deeply incoherent ideas. Constructivism, or, as the internet likes to call it, tattooing, is born of collage and propaganda influences, a marriage made possible by industrial printing technology. This makes it not only extremely effective at expressing abstract ideas, but an early form of graphic design, which is bothe my butter and my jam.

As such, I thoroughly love creating tattoos this way. It's just so beautiful to me.

See? I was working toward my point, not prattling. I wish you had more patience. I don't want to say you owe me anything, but an apology wouldn't be misspent, should you care to part with one.

I'M BACK AND HERE'S WHY -->
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I can't stay away from social media for very long, primarily because doing so results in my own poverty. If I post to social media, it seems, the burden of poverty can be shifted to other people (you) via some kind of innate principle of capitalism that I don't fully understand or respect.

This period of the year is what's called "tattoo slow season", and it's falling on the first "tattoopocalypse" that this craft has endured in like 20 years.

The former is easier to explain: people don't like being cold and their money tends to stay in their pants, which they are currently unwilling to place on the floor of a tattoo shop while they get stabbed a lot.

The latter is harder to explain. Tattooers worldwide are reporting fewer bookings, even for this season. People who have 35 years in the craft are noting fewer bookings, even for this economic environment.

Nobody would argue that the money isn't moneying as much and, when it does, it moneys the wrong people. It's moneying mean right now. That's just economic science, if you follow the Keynesian school of monetary theory.

When an entire industry suffers a uniform downturn, it would take a pretty optimistic person to not examine themselves. Are we tattooers doing something wrong? Have we betrayed the craft and become Tattoo Business instead of tattoo art? Will you loan me $25? We're all asking similar questions, in every corner of the world.

Tattoo as a craft, though, has persisted through worse times and has been championed by folk from nobility to society's fringe, and even conservative talk show hosts, throughout recorded history. As long as people have skin, they're likely going to decorate it with the images and symbols that celebrate their life, family, and culture.

That's why I put a monkey bhole on my friend. This particular monkey was called Romeo, and he drove conservative talkshow host nuts at his shop in Hawaii. Romeo would sneak in, get hammered on and cause a ruckus. Jerry drew this flash of his simian nemesis, and it became an iconic representation of not just Jerry's work, but all the chaos and unpredictability life throws at us.

THIS HALLOWEEN -->
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Prepare your bone jackets, because is bringing you a host of recently deceased art, including special guest contributions from the one and only of where horrors and holes-in-one can happen to anyone daring to enter!

Here's the rules:

- Open 11-9p
- 8 wonderful artists
- Shop minimum $100
- All flash deeply discounted
- Final price based on size
- Arms & Legs only
- Appointments not available, walk-ins only
- If you miss the event or can't attend, artists may choose to schedule you for another day if they want to, no guarantees, but secretly they really want to tattoo you
- Tips are accepted and go 100% to the artist, but (seriously) no hard feelings if tips aren't in the budget, we just want to make cool stuff with you
- Much more original flash is available!

We're THRILLED to offer Mike's work, officially authorized for the first time ever! Even more exciting is that a portion of proceeds will go to to support families with hungry children all over Oregon!

Don't be scared, these artists barely bite!