Houa Lor

Dearest Readers,

There are many moments in my life where I have compared myself to others. I think as an Asian girl growing up in a home where comparison was used often, we can’t quite let it go as we age. It gets worse when you marry and we are compared to other wives. The ability to rise is based on how good our dishes taste or how delicate we speak or how many babies we can pop out while still keeping our figure.

I did compare myself…a lot when I was younger.

I had no one to tell me to stop. I had no one to tell me I was good by being myself. When I was hurting, I would simply just cry myself to sleep. I remembered one night, while on vacation, in the hotel room, I bravely told my husband this truth. I told him that in my early years of marriage, I cried myself to sleep a lot. He looked really sad and asked me why I hid it from him. I simply shrugged and said, “I don’t know. I just didn’t think you could do anything about it.” But in that moment, he hugged me, and it just seemed to be better.

But today…in this moment…when you are reading this, I want you to know that comparison takes the joy from living. It makes us afraid to enjoy something we worked hard for. It makes us shy away because we’re still worried about being judged. When you catch yourself comparing, I want you to stop and ask yourself, “What does this bring me?” The answer will make you stop. Because the answer is going to be, “Nothing.” “Pain.” “Tears.”

Instead, compare yourself to a version of you no one thought you could ever grow from. Then tell her how worthy she was then and how much she is worthy now. Hug her and let her be safe in your arms. If you were to compare yourself to anyone, compare yourself to the person no one loved and how you grew from there to become the winner today. See how much you shine.

With Love & Light,

Houa

I am all caught up with Ashes of Crown's releases...waiting now for new episodes. While I wait, I'll go watch this one!

Dearest Readers,

To be honest, I never expected to come this far in the journey of content creation. I first started out writing for myself. You see, 16 years ago, I was almost 300 pounds, depressed, and unable to heal from the things people did to me. I was suffering from infertility and everywhere I went, it was the only thing people saw of me.

Every night, I sat at my computer and I kept writing my feelings out. The things people said to me that burned…the actions people took on me when I wasn’t looking…the gossip spread about me that brought me down. I wrote it all out and cried while reading it back to myself.

And one day…I decided to share a piece of my writing to the world because I wanted to be heard. Not only was I heard, but I was also embraced by those who were in the same shoes. So, bravely, I started sharing bits and pieces of me. Understand, the ones who did the hurting definitely were stalking my platform quietly to see if I wrote about them.

That was how I broke away from being so scared to speak my voice. That was how I stopped being in their circle. That was how I stopped pleasing them.

Writing gave me the courage to share my pain because I validated myself. And when you, my readers, came to share the same space with me…to say, “I needed this,” “Thank you for your kind words,” “Thank you for sharing your story…,” I cried and sent you a prayer.

Let us stand together, through our pain, and celebrate how far we have come…when many thought we’d never stand again. I see you. I hear you.

With Love & Light,

Houa