Safe-Space

You'll always be remembered & your legacy will live on through your namesake! R.I.P. Gregory Allen Peck Sr. 07/29/2024

Tea-time: (This is very real and very close to my heart, but I can't keep from sharing it, because it literally just happened and is a fresh wound added to my heart. When I say this s**t blind-sided me, like I don't even know the words to mf use to explain the shock and awe I'm still in over how this went down. Just bear with me as I tell how things went down from my brains perspective of that day).
I am currently losing my mf mind, trying to keep it from driving me insane.
Over what you ask??
Over why one of the realest mf's I thought I knew . . .
Turned on me so quick, ya'll it literally happened overnight.
One minute . . .
I'm helping someone very close to me after going through one of the most painful surgery's anyone could possibly experience. Getting that hip replaced & basically, having to learn to walk all over again afterwards.
I left the comfort of my home to go stay with this important person in my life.
I did this for 48-hours you guys.
Well, 2 nights, 3 days. (but who's counting)
I barely slept.
I trained my brain to listen for her & the smallest of her movements. When she needed to get up, or just sit in a more comfortable position.
I've never took care of anyone like this before, but I did it because I love her.
I did it because I care.
However, on the third day . . .
When I was so tired I couldn't hold a conversation, and admittedly told her so.
I was so exhausted between tending to all of her needs and trying to do college coursework . . .
My brain was literally shutting my body down.
Guess what though?
Because I admitted to how tired I was, and that I couldn't hold a conversation.
This person went behind my back & called my husband & told him I was fu**ed up. (how I used to get before prison)
That he needed to come get me.
Needless to say, he wasn't in the best of moods upon his arrival.
I woke up to him standing in the room, looking down at me, her at his side . . .
Asking me very sternly if I was ready to go.
I was still clouded by sleep, confused as to what had him so aggravated.
After asking him if he was okay, he responded with 'yeah just a bad day'.
I said let me get my things and go p*e and I'll be ready.
Tell me why I hear whispering far off, away from the bathroom door?
So, I yell out his name, no answer.
I yell out her name, no answer.
Then I say both their names and tell them I know I'm loud & I know they heard me, no answer.
I call his phone and ask what they whispering about?
He replied, "You".
"What about me?"
"I'm trying to tell her you're not fu**ed up."
"Excuse me? Huh-say-what?"
I swear, right hand to God, this woman I done been taking care of for two full days came in the bathroom on me and cussed me up one side and down another!!
In my head I'm like, 'where in tf, all of a sudden this come from?'
I was seething mad, hurt, in disbelief, and in shock. (that word pops up a lot through this lil schpeal)
Petty s**t was said.
Petty things were done.
No, nothing physical went down like a fight because I have respect for her.
It didn't even cross my mind frfr.
That is, until I was in the truck on my way home.
My husband taught me honesty.
Showed me the value of truth & respect.
I learned it a bit late in life but better late than never.
Right??
He looked at me and I looked at him and he apologized to me.
I wasn't understanding why, until he dropped what he said next.
When they were whispering about me, accusing me of being fu**ed up wasn't the only thing she said.
He looked down, then right back into my eyes and said,
'She also said to me that you didn't deserve me, I'm too good for you, and that you treated me like s**t.'
????????
WHAT???
That's when the anger came in.
That's how the frustration got in.
Then, to add to all that,
5-hours after us being home,
5-hours after talking about everything that happened over and over until we were both blue in the face.
She calls his phone leaving a voicemail, accusing me of stealing all of her pain meds except 18 of them.
1st of all: I'm on Suboxone and have been since 2019-2020.
When I heard that accusation leave her mouth, I was sp*echless. Remembering all times I done been in her home around things no one else knew about that was never taken or so much even touched.
Idk ya'll, I'm just at a loss for words, feeling, actions.
I can't believe any of this happened, when I only acted out of loving kindness.
Okay, that's enough of that.
It's just something that happened and I have no clue why.
Plus, never would I nor have I ever, taken anyone's pain med's right after a major surgery.
My brain hurts. I'm done for now.

I'm sick. I'm so confused as to what happened to the original SafeSpace I first created. There were more than +200 Followers, now there's less than -100 Followers. And I know those number aren't impressive to a lot of you. Especially where popularity goes. But every single one of those original followers mean a great deal to me. Hell, I'm grateful there's still ppl in the group. I've been very neglectful to this group and please know I'm terribly sorry if I have let any one of you down in any way. I'm doing my best to, hell idk, keep truckin' day in and day out!! I'm human and life goes on livin' and if I forget my passion, my desire of always wanting to help ppl, the ppl who made it possible for this group to exist. I would miss a big part of my life without any of you who speak and those who speak quietly. I hear your voices because mine is damn near silent too. It wouldn't be natural for me to walk away. I need ppl to interact with even if it's not hanging out in person. I actually hate leaving my house because of dumb s**t from some years back. Stupid lil' fears can sometimes make a mountain out of a mole hole. Just to know that we, as human beings, have the power within us to help someone stand firm on their feet and make their day a lil' brighter because they know someone cared enough to take a few moments of time and chat for a minute, is awesome, to me. You could actually save someone's life, only to realize later, that they saved yours too. I created Safe-Space so ppl would have a safe place to talk about whatever they want without feeling ashamed, judged, being accused of lying, being asked if you've taken your meds (I hate that remark), or made to feel any other type of way except relief of getting that burden off your chest, or outta your mind. So, I guess you could say I'm letting everybody know I'm still alive and kickin. And that I care about these lil' things I do, trying to reach out to as many ppl as I can, ppl like me. Just wanting to give back what's been freely given to me by the many others who cared about me then and now. That big sister shoulder to lean on. Ya'll knows what I'm tryin to say. Okay, Peace Out -

Call now to connect with business.

I've mentally exhausted myself trying to understand why ppl think they have the right to judge me, use me, steal from me, lie to me, and then act perfectly normal to my face. If you're not grown enough to understand how someone else might be feeling . . . Don't assume you know why! Everyone knows what assuming makes of you. Mehm, an ASS!! I know some ppl are going to read this and it's possible you might take offense, but if your conscious is clean then you shouldn't take this post any other way than me venting my feelings and frustrations. My complete naivety of the way specific ppl in my life treats me or talks about me behind my back when they don't think I have ears, pi**es me the f**k off!!! That's right, I can hear ppl!! No one is as subtle as they first think. I've had my wall down for way too long and I think it's time to build it right the f**k back up!! If you can't keep it 100 all the time, then don't even bother trying to befriend me or say I'm a blessing in your life. I won't believe it because your 'whispered' words and hidden actions speak louder than the fake ass skin you're in. I won't say anything behind someone's back that I won't say to their face. If you can't oblige me, respecting me the same as I do you, then I don't need you trying to hang around or visit, or even speak to me for that matter. The days of disrespecting me, especially in my own home, are OVER!! Drop the mike!!!

Texting! Always. Depends on who's calling and if I'm in the mood to talk. If its my kids, or parents then I'm definitely answering the phone.