That.Little.Extra

"Hi, love bug!!" I said excitedly as I moved from the driver's seat over to the passenger seat of our van. At the time, we only had one working vehicle, so picking my husband up from work had become a daily occurrence I looked forward to as a little us time before getting home to our kiddos.

What I wasn't expecting was for those three words to provoke anger. "My mom called me that when I was a kid. Don't you ever call me that again." You see, terms of endearment have always been my go-to, and they were usually met with one in return.

I was taken aback. I apologized for not knowing and said I would never call him that again, which was met with a "Good, you better not." I hated that the car ride I had been looking forward to was now tense.

As we drove home I tucked my knees under my chin and turned my head to stare out the window. I told myself I shouldn't be confused or hurt by his reaction, since I was the one who messed up. I made the mistake by calling him the wrong thing.

You see, that's the thing about being gaslit most of your life: it makes you feel like you are always the one at fault. Halfway through the ride home, like a light switch, he changed back to his usual goofy, loving self as if nothing had happened. I knew better than to question it, so I embraced that I had him back and filed the interaction away in the back of my mind. Lesson learned.

A couple of years later I made the mistake of calling him 'love bug' again, it was a slip I immediately regretted this this time his response was worse. The kind of worse you don't forget. Because this time I had "known better" and chose to anyway. For the longest time, hearing 'love bug' was triggering. One day I decided to take his power away from it and take the phrase back. It was on that day my use of "Hi Love Bug" was born.

So when I say it to you — I mean it with everything I have.

Hi Love Bug,
I've been quiet for a while. And honestly? I needed to be.

I've been on my own healing journey — the kind that asks you to step back, go inward, and trust the process even when it's uncomfortable. The kind I used to help others navigate.

And somewhere in the middle of it all, I remembered why I started this.

Because growth isn't linear. Because healing isn't a straight line. Because sometimes the person who helps others find their way has to find their own way back first.

I'm back. A little more whole. A lot more real.

that.little.extra has always been about the small, intentional things that change everything. That hasn't changed — if anything, I believe it more deeply now.

If you've been on your own journey while I was on mine — I see you. I'm here.

Let's keep growing together. 💚
I love you. I believe in you. We do have this.