Jacob Casey Foundation

15 YEARS

When Jacob first died, I asked a woman at work..when do the tears subside
She said everyone is different, there is no guide
But for her, she said it took her 10 years, but they never go completely away
She said you will always have triggers on any given day

I remember being shocked to hear that her pain had lasted so long
But as the years go by, I now know this journey is lifelong
I couldn’t believe I never knew she lost a child, I didn’t know what to say
But I started to look at her differently on that day

I now noticed how she rarely showed much joy
Maybe that quiet demeanor was because she had been destroyed
You never know what’s in the mind of another
The loss of a child is like no other

Sometimes her words come flowing back to me
At the time, I thought it just couldn’t be
This heartache couldn’t possibly last forever more
But it does, it affects you to the core

You would have been 34 today, it’s been 15 years
The mourning is gone, but never the grieving or tears
You try to control it, but there’s nothing you can do
Tears may flow like a river or maybe just be a few

The person beside you may be in a lot of pain that you can’t see
Pretending to be ok, but will never be who they used to be
They may be broken, but will never tell
Even if you think you know them so well

We all have said words we wish we had never said
No one is perfect, but you never know what lies ahead
Forgive them, they know not what they do
They may not ever realize what you’re going through

Just heard about the tragic accident last night that took the life of another one of Jacob’s friends. I remember the difficult time you had with Jacob’s death and I know Jacob was there to greet you. Our most sincere sympathy to your family. We know what they are going through and there are no words that will lessen their pain. Rest in Peace Josh Torch.

JACOB - 12 YEARS LATER

12 years have passed and we think of you nearly every day
Still amazed at the number of people who feel the same way
Still seeing your friends post about you after all these years
Makes us realize what an impact you had on your peers

Your smiling face will always stand out
To remind us what life is all about
It’s not about money, success or fame
But how you treat others, how you play the game

I still question why you were chosen to leave
Though I know you are at peace, we will forever grieve
Memory of this tragedy will never go away
God help us to accept this loss, we pray

Ocalans will never forget this date
Remembering that night in 2008

Happy birthday in heaven to our sweet Jacob, who would have been 31 today. We grieve for you as much today as we did in 2008. You will ALWAYS be in our hearts and minds.

11 YEARS AGO

More than a decade has passed since that tragic crash
When the lives of 5 boys were snuffed out in a flash
Ocalans will remember that night for years to come
It will continue to have a huge effect on the lives of some

Our Jacob is truly missed by many, there is no doubt
If only we had a warning of how this would play out
If only we knew that morning that this was his last day
We would have had time to speak the words we wanted to say

To keep his memory alive, I write about him every year
It helps to ease the grief and will always keep him near
Memories in my mind pop up throughout the week
I never know where or when, but his face I will always seek

The loss of this child left a scar on my soul
Our family will never be the same, it left such a hole
Grief is the price we pay for the depth of our love
It isn’t seen by others, but I know is seen from above

Life isn’t the same without you, we continue to ask why
Someone so young and full of life is chosen to die

30 YEARS OLD

Jacob would have been 30 today, a milestone measured by many
As a passage into true adulthood, a day of dread is the trend
But when you lose someone as a teen, you realize how silly
To worry about growing older, when the alternative is “the end”

I wish you were here so we could tease you about growing old
With your family and friends, we would celebrate this big day
We all continue to miss you, the pain is still very real
We will never understand why God wouldn’t let you stay

We will always wonder the path you would have taken
Surely something that would make us all smile
Maybe sports or definitely something dealing with people
Sitting at a desk would never have been your style.

One thing I do know for sure
Your success would not have been measured by money or fame
Whatever you chose, your dad would have been proud
The adult you would have become would never bring us shame

But watching you grow was never meant to be
Instead you and Nana are watching over us every day
I know you see the changes, I wonder what you think
If you were here, would it be different, all we can do is pray

Your love for this family was beyond compare
Especially your cousins, the closeness was rare
You loved your aunt like no other
She was always there for you, like a second mother

You loved to play jokes on your Nanny
Or tell her secrets about your dad
These are things that will never be forgotten
Those days are gone and it makes us all sad

Turning 30 in heaven, does it matter at all
Seeing you in our minds, 19 you will stay
Full of life, love and smiles
Until we see you again one day

Its hard to believe... 10 yrs have flown by
Thinking of you daily, still dont understand why
I know you can see that Nana is not well
She may come to see you soon, only time will tell.

Our lives are so changed, we'll never be the same
The burning desire to see you is an everlasting flame
Always asking what it would it be like
If you never left us on that fateful night

Rest in peace our loving son
Continue to watch over us till our days are done

29 TODAY

It’s hard to believe you would be 29 today
Nothing is the same since you went away

Mourning subsides, but grieving never ends
You will always be missed by family and friends

We’ll never understand but finally accept that you’re gone
Forever in our hearts, your memory will live on

We love you so much, words are never enough
The loss that we feel continues to be so rough.

I know you’re ok, we are the ones in pain.
Watch over us all, till we see you again.

NINE YEARS

Gone for nine years, you would have been 28 years of age
Still hard to accept, a loss that you cannot gauge
As I look through pictures of you in your younger years
My heart breaks and I’m always reduced to tears

I think of you often throughout the day
I still don’t understand why you were taken away
I’ve prayed and prayed and asked God why
I never got an answer why you had to die

Your dad got married and became a father again
I know if you were here, you would love the girls and Jen
I know you’re watching and they make you smile
I wish they could know you, even for a little while.

They are a happy family, full of life and love
I just know in my heart that it comes from above
Our lives have changed for the better, that’s for sure
But it doesn’t mean losing you is easier to endure

Maybe God could see that a huge hole was still there
And sent your Dad someone who would truly care
I’m so happy for him, but I also know
He continues to grieve and misses you so.

Though we don’t go to church anymore
Our Christian beliefs are strong to the core
And we know that we will see you again one day
Our family will again be whole and will be ok