AE Radio

GOVERNOR SIGNS "SAVE TEXAS ACT," MAKES 80 DEGREES THE COLDEST LEGAL THERMOSTAT SETTING

AUSTIN, Texas — In an effort to prevent the Texas electrical grid from waving the white flag every summer, Gov. Greg Abbott has signed the Save Texas Power Grid Act, legislation that supporters say will dramatically reduce power consumption across the Lone Star State.

The bill, reportedly drafted "with guidance" from the Mayor of New York City, requires every Texas household to keep its thermostat set no lower than 80 degrees during the summer months.

State officials insist the law is "a small sacrifice for the greater good."

Because apparently sweating through your sheets at 2 A.M. builds character.

To ensure compliance, every smart thermostat in Texas will be remotely monitored by authorities.

Residents still using old school manual thermostats aren't off the hook either.

The state is creating an entirely new division of government known as the Texas Temperature Audit Bureau, whose employees, nicknamed "temperature auditors," will conduct random inspections of homes throughout the day.

Officials say auditors will have the authority to knock on your door at any time.

If you're seen standing directly in front of the air conditioner vent...
..expect questions.

The penalties escalate quickly.

First offense:
A formal written warning reminding residents that perspiration is patriotic.

Second offense:
A minimum $500 fine for "Unauthorized Cooling."

Third offense:
Felony charges, arrest, and mandatory attendance at a state sponsored seminar titled "Learning to Love Humidity."

State officials also announced the creation of a confidential tip line encouraging neighbors to report suspiciously cool homes.

Investigators say warning signs include:

Frost on bedroom windows in July.
Family members wearing hoodies indoors.
Hearing someone say, "Man, it's chilly in here."
Seeing steam come from someone's mouth while watching television.

The state also unveiled a pilot program allowing officers to use thermal imaging drones to identify repeat offenders whose homes are emitting what officials described as "an excessive amount of comfort."

Consumer advocates immediately criticized the proposal, arguing Texans have a constitutional right to experience air conditioning below the temperature of a baked potato.

At press time, lawmakers were reportedly debating amendments that would make ceiling fans a taxable luxury item.

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Tyler & East Texas, check out this list for tomorrow, Friday July 17th.
Find something to enjoy, hit that share button and have a wonderful Friday.

Tyler/Lindale/East Texas

Coldfire @ Fresh by Brookshire's in Tyler - 6 PM
Shannon Baker @ Mercado's in Tyler - 6 PM
Blue Louie @ Rounder's Pizza in Tyler - 6 PM
Preston Barrett @ Tia Juanita's in Henderson - 6:30 PM
Emily Glover @ The Forge Bar & Grill in Ben Wheeler
Clay Thrash & Matt Fisher @ Moore's Store in Ben Wheeler
Rodney Norman Comedy @ SKY BAR & GRILL in Tyler - 7 PM
Randy C Moore @ Texas Music City Grill & Smokehouse-Tyler - 7:30 PM
Me Like Bees @ Stanley's Famous Pit Barbecue in Tyler - 8 PM
Calamity Janes @ TXM Lindale - 8 PM
Kirk Harpoer & the Great Unknown @ Republic Icehouse in Tyler - 8 PM
TD Wilt @ ETX Brewing in Tyler - 8:30 PM
Dani Reed @ STS South Tyler Speakeasy - 9 PM

Longview/East Texas

Jaden Ramirez Band @ Fresh by Brookshire's in Longview - 6 PM
April N. Smith @ Los Pinos Ranch Vineyards - Pittsburg, TX - 6 PM
PL Garner @ The Cove at Lake Cypress Springs in Mount Vernon
Tim the Sax Guy @ GZ's Asian Bistro in Longview - 7 PM
Loggerhead Turtle Meat @ Outlaws Longview Bar - 7 PM
Soulful Essence (Jazz & R&B) @ The Bourbon Alley in Longview - 7 PM
Ramblers & The Reo Palm Isle in Longview
Bitter Boar @ Stillwater RV Resort in Winona - 7 PM
TEAZUR @ Cargo TX in Longview - 7:30 PM

Texarkana

Tildon Gillum @ Rancho Seco Steakhouse in Mt. Pleasant - 6 PM
Mobetta Band @ La Fogata Bar & Grill TXK - 7 PM
David Howe @ Twisted Fork in Texarkana - 7 PM
Danny Maxey @ Texas Elks Lodge 2771 in Texarkana - 7:30 PM
Locked & Loaded NBTX @ Arkansas VFW in Texarkana - 7:30 PM
Josh Lawrence Trio @ 1923 Banana Club in Texarkana - 8 PM
Lee Mathis & the Brutally Handsome @ Fat Jacks Oyster and Sports Bar Texarkana AR - 8:30 PM
Jimi Watusi @ The Wild Hare in Texarkana - 9 PM