CALI DOCS

Parents who separate will need to have a plan for deciding how their children will be cared for and where they will live or spend time. This plan can be called a parenting plan, a time-share plan, or an agreement ("stipulation") about child custody and visitation. Children react differently to the separation of their parents, and you know your children best. But here is some information to help you understand what could be going on with your children. It is important that you remain open to talking to your children and that you give them a lot of understanding and nurturing during this time.

Many children go through different stages in dealing with the grief they may feel around their parents' separation:

Shock and denial that their parents are separating;
Anger because their parents are separating;
Depression — children may become overwhelmed with feelings of helplessness and sadness when significant changes are happening in their lives;
Bargaining — when children try hard to make things the way they were, promising themselves or their parents anything to get their parents back together; and
Acceptance — when children begin to talk more openly about the separation and get their energy and own interests back.

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