The Love Like Ashley Project

Forever my girl.

Six Years Without My Girl

Today makes six years since my daughter, Ashley, was taken from me. Six years since I last held her tight, heard her breathe, or watched the light she carried move through the world. And still my body remembers. It aches for her in places that nothing else can reach.

Grief is not a moment you survive and then it stops. It is a life you learn to live inside of. If I could have just one more day, I would hold her until my arms gave out. I would tell her again and again how extraordinary she was and how her spirit, her humor, her softness, her fight and every piece of her changed me forever.

I miss her light.
I miss the version of me that existed when she was still here.

But somehow, in the ruins she left behind, new life still pushed through. Her baby siblings, who will never get to know her, are the reason I get up when I want to collapse. Her baby sister has the same way of lighting up a room. She has that same spark in her eyes and sometimes I swear I catch Ashley flickering through her. It undoes me and keeps me alive, all at once.

People tell me Ashley lives on “in my heart,” and though that sounds like a greeting card, there is truth in it, she lives because I remember. I live because she lived. I live so she is not erased. I live for her.

I hope I am making her proud, in the way I mother, the way I carry softness even after so much hurt, the way I keep breathing even when it would be easier not to. I hope, if she can see me, she knows I am still hers.

I wish my faith was iron-strong. I wish I had zero doubt that I will hold her again, that we will be reunited, that love really is stronger than death in the end. That belief, even when I can only hold it by a thread is what gets me through the days. The thought that there will be a moment beyond this one, beyond these aching years, where her weight is back in my arms and nothing can separate us again.

Six years without her, and still I carry her forward.
She lives through me.
And I live every day for her.

Mama Rob

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Any and all donations help. Please share to get the word out! Let’s make this an out of this world event for Ashley and this community!!

🛹We are in need of blank skate decks for artists to paint. I know there is skate shop in West Monroe, maybe they can help! I’m awaiting Facebook to get it together so I can add my donation button, if I can get some donations I can make a bulk order for decks myself. If anyone wants to donate before I get the button added I can give the foundation’s Chase bank information.🛹

PLEASE SHARE: In need of local artists who would volunteer their time & skill to paint skate decks that could be auctioned off at Ash’s 1st Annual Skate Jam. Please reach out if you are interested!

If you have any other ideas for fundraising to make this skate jam a success for years to come please shoot me a message!

Also, calling all musicians.. I’d love to have live music for this event! Please let me know if anyone would be interested in playing this event!