Think Big Therapy

This acting and aerobics star had it right, and the unique time we’re living in right now is a great way to hone in on the things and people that make us feel whole and fulfilled. Take the time to do a self-audit of the things in your life that make you feel like you’re not enough, and do the work to carve them out. At the same time, intentionally add things into your days that make you feel like the person you know you’re supposed to be, whether that’s writing poetry, gardening, or listening to music that makes your soul happy.

There’s this idea that in order to live a meaningful life, we need to eliminate all pain. But it’s just not true. What we need is to find ways to stop punishing ourselves for the pain ALL of us feel. Pain won’t go away, but the way we deal with it can certainly change.
It can be easy to forget we’re not the only ones facing challenges or hurt -- whether it’s from past trauma or a current problem. Every single person has stories and grief they carry.
Holding your pain and realizing it’s completely normal is the thing that will allow you to live a fuller life. It will never go away, and that is okay.

How can you offer love and acceptance today rather than immediately going into advice? I’ve found it’s uncomfortable for most people to simply listen without wanting to offer a solution or opinion to someone else’s problems. But most of us simply need our loved ones’ attention and time.

Feeling overwhelmed? Here are a few things you can do to counteract the feelings of not being in control. Try this the next time you feel stressed out or consumed by your emotions.
+ Spend time with others: call a friend, make plans with your partner, hang out with a pet.
+ Ground yourself: take a technology break, walk barefoot in grass, notice your 5 senses.
+ Ask yourself if you have any basic needs: eat, take a shower, drink water.
+ Move your body: dance, stretch, walk, do yoga, run.
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Not every relationship is meant to last a lifetime. Toxic people drain energy and leech your worth from you. It’s never easy letting go of people we love, but if you are in a toxic relationship (no matter how close you are with the person) it is always better to save your mental health and part ways. Here are some signs of toxic people:
1. You feel emotionally drained and exhausted after being around them.
2. They’re pushy or intimidating in order to get their way.
3. They easily become jealous.
4. They guilt you into doing what they want or agreeing with them.
5. They won’t take no as an answer.
6. They only issue backhanded compliments
7. They have no respect for your boundaries.
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If you feel the need to heal, change, or fix others, remember that the ONLY person who can control someone is that person. “Fixing” might feel good or help us feel worthier or give us a distraction when we really need to be working on something within ourselves. But it will never play out how we hope, demand, or expect.
Instead:
+ Use that energy to go inward and focus on yourself.
+ Ask yourself WHY you feel the need to fix.
+ Spend your time and energy healing your trauma and letting go of your desire to change others.
Most people don’t need to be fixed, they need to be heard, seen, and understood.

Reminder: it’s okay to not have all the answers yet. Figuring it out, one day at a time, as you go is a beautiful part of life, if you let it be. Remaining focused on the present will only allow you to enjoy whatever unfolds immensely more than trying to jump ahead and worry about what’s next. Let it be.
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