Fownes Coaching

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Staying emotionally connected to our kids through struggles and difficult challenges is a key cornerstone of a positive parenting mindset.
Often it means working through our own fears and beliefs about things “should be,” which is tough if we see our kids floundering or failing.
So, what does connection look like in your relationship with your kid(s)?
It can feel different for each relationship.
With one child it may feel effortless; with another it can feel like a mess.
Feeling emotionally disconnected can trigger disappointment, resentment, frustration—which feels terrible!
The good news?
We can choose to feel connected to our kids.
How we think, feel and behave is always within our power.
The first step is to notice when fear, worry and anxiety cause us to control, fix and “manage” them.
These behaviors lead to conflict, avoidance and resistance.
Practicing replacing fear and worry with wisdom and trust is the first step.
It’s simple, but not easy.❣️

School Avoidance is driven by intense social anxiety, fueled by self-hatred and other emotions. You can’t motivate someone to get to school when they are consumed by these feelings.

WE make it worse for them with our own anxiety and pressure etc. This only intensifies the negative emotions that are driving them. It will take longer for them to get there.

But as we change with acceptance, letting go and belief in our kid no matter what we give them the space and emotional support to work through their internal issues themselves. And the timing is out of our hands. That’s part of the process of letting go, gaining the strength and resilience to endure potentially weeks and months of school avoidance.

But in the end, your child will have found their way, using their resilience, insight, self-love and determination. WE can’t give that to them. They must find it for themselves. ♥

We often talk about "downward spirals". When it seems like everything is working against us: people, life, ourselves, our kids. We sink into sadness, depression or hopelessness.
But, I like to focus on the "upward spiral." The alternate path that leads us up and out of stuck, negative patterns rooted in fear, anxiety, self-pity, and hopelessness. The upward spiral begins when you commit to emotional growth and deep personal transformation. Unlike the gloom and fog of the downward spiral, the upward spiral leads into light, clarity and wisdom. Anything is possible when you're committed to personal change. ❤