AndyMorris

i was outside walking my sister’s dog and this man asked for my number i said no… seconds later he drives past in a lamborghini and tries again 😭 mf this is not a skit STILL no

just saw a mom trying to get her toddler off the ground saying “please stand up”… then she said “will the real slim shady please stand up” and the kid actually listened 😭

when gas was $2.05 i used to drive around to clear my mind… now these thoughts live with me

"If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking."

Men can stay up until 2 AM, wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day,
Everything will workout.

Say after me: I own more assets and avoid liabilities this April.

Major cheat code in life:
Ask for the big, unreasonable things. The universe doesn't have a limit, and it meets you at your level of audacity.