Slide Darling

Mr. H here—Chief Security Officer at Slide Darling. I bark at leaves, shadows, ghosts, and feelings. If it moves, I file a report.

Today I’m off-duty and on the table. Suspended, scrubbed, and temporarily silenced (you’re welcome, Mom).

But don’t get comfortable. The second I’m back on the ground, I will be resuming my duties at full volume.

Stay safe out there. Bark first, ask questions never.

How many bullet points does it take before your audience starts mentally checking out?