Heffelfinger Psychotherapy

As long as I can remember I have walked with an open cup, it is calming, slows me down and makes me mindful of what I am doing. With Covid my open cup moments are only at home, it is amazing how something that little out of my control has changed the balance of my day. Having something that balances you is more important today than ever. I have created a daily 5 to help bring that balance and mindfulness into my "out of routine" day. Ask yourself each day, "what have I done for the good of...."
1) My mind
Challenging your mind through school work, reading, puzzles etc

2) My body
Walking, yoga, hygiene, eating healthy, etc

3) My soul
What makes you happy, calms you, brings you peace

4) My family
Connecting, engaging, doing for others

5) My house
Being part of the team, cleaning, cooking, organizing, your part

Adding these 5 can help to bring routine and balance in a world where everything around us seems out of our control.

Mindfulness.......
For me, I feel tomorrow is the first time I truly can say, " I remember where I was when I heard." That day we hugged tighter, rethought things we say, our plans for the future and remembered each day has a meaning! We became mindful of all around us. Tragedy brings us back to center. I will never forget my son telling me as a 2nd grader the Monday after a school shooting, " Mom, today and everyday I am going to school for all those kids who will never have a chance to go to school again." Our daily life can become routine, meaning lost, leading to stress and unhappiness. Let's not wait for tragedies and loss to find meaning, to remeber our purpose, but instead be grateful for the opportunity of the day ahead. Be mindful everyday.

Understanding that intolerance, injustice and racism have been systemic issues for years in our society is pivotal in making change. Physical evidence has brought it to the forefront today, but it has been occurring in front of our eyes daily.
Change comes from Hope that everyone who is standing up today for a difference creates daily change in thier own life to be the difference in the future.

How are you feeling?
The most common response I am hearing since the pandemic Covid-19 has started is exhausted, including myself. Rearranging our lives to sheltering in and working from home has created underlying stress that we may not even know is there. Everyday life has changed, we are in the midst of creating a new normal. Activities out of the house have stopped, social distancing continues yet we still feel drained, why?
Identifying how stress can impact our life is essential during a change such as this. Our entire daily routine has been changed, as has that of our family, adding more emotional strain for us to carry.
Assessing and understanding what can lead to our stress is the first step to releasing it and self-care.
What leads to exhaustion:
Change in routine: From when we shower, eat, work and finally get to sleep, everything has changed.
Self-care: Creating a daily routine of basics is essential, without this we feel lost.

Unknown: When will we be back to normal, getting to the grocery store, the anxiety of the virus itself, and meeting the needs of our family, work. These are a few daily “unknown” stressors that lead to anxiety. Carrying this with us day to day and ultimately draining us. It is believed that stressing for 1 hour depletes the body as if you ran a mile.
Self-Care: Identify what is within your control, make a plan to follow through with that plan and let what you cannot control go. Seeking validation of what we cannot control leaves us unsettled and drained.

Compassion: It is human nature to be compassionate, empathetic, understanding. You may be taking on the stress of your family, friends or those around the world struggling. Add to this holding onto our own stress and anxiety and we can deplete ourselves quickly.
Self-care: Awareness of what is within your scope from home and accepting that is making a difference. Owning your feelings, supporting others but understand your limitations and what we need to allow others to own.

Grief: We are reminded daily of the trauma this virus has created, the lives lost, families struggling, financial fears and life moments canceled. Being personally impacted or simply being exposed to media, we are all grieving. This is a loss. As simple as a loss in our routine, our plans, our daily connections, watching our own children miss opportunities to the loss of a loved one and everything in between, we are all grieving.
Self-care: Accepting what has been taken, allowing yourself to grieve and work through the loss is the beginning of healing and transcending from this.

Boundaries: It is easy to work on and off all day, although ultimately never shutting it off. Before you could leave it at the office, walk out of the building, today it is in every room of your house.
Self-care: Find a balance, set boundaries, get control back of your daily life!

Feeling exhausted is something that we are all feeling, it is part of this process, part of creating our new normal. Allowing yourself to stop and listen to your body, taking time each day for you. What does that look like? Meditating, yoga, walking, connecting with friends and family, self-care, exercise, reading, anything that allows you to shut things off, stop and listen to what you need.