Aging With Grace

This is so good! It is a copy of an email I received from an elder law attorney in Florida, H. Frances Reeves. She and I did a podcast together a couple of years ago. Please read it in hopes that it will help you or someone you know. Reminder: Elder Law is state specific, so please contact a trusted lawyer in your state to help you.

"June is National Elder Abuse Awareness Month, and every year I’m reminded that “elder abuse” sounds like a sterile phrase from a government brochure—but it’s anything but. It’s theft, intimidation, manipulation, and sometimes outright bullying aimed at people who are assumed won’t fight back. And it happens every single day—in gated communities, high‑rise condos, and trailer parks alike.

Just recently, a woman called my office furious because her brother was draining their mother’s accounts. Loans against the home. His name on everything. And Mom signed it all because “he asked.” As awful as it sounds, unless a parent admits to the abuse, agencies like DCF rarely act. What’s left? Lawyers, guardianship, court hearings—and a pile of legal bills.

Her daughter asked me, “There’s no one who helps old people?”

“Not enough,” I told her. “And usually not until the money is gone.”

And here’s the hardest truth: most of this could’ve been prevented years earlier with the right estate plan and a Durable Power of Attorney. But families avoid these conversations until it’s too late—Dad passes away, Mom starts forgetting, a “helpful” sibling starts making big purchases—and suddenly everyone’s hiring litigators.

There’s also a more polished version of elder abuse—the kind with a billing department. A 91‑year‑old woman on home‑infusion antibiotics was told she owed more than $1,000 in co‑pays. After hours of phone calls, her daughter discovered Medicare did cover the treatment, and the supplemental insurer was never billed. Had she not stepped in, her mother would’ve paid out of fear. That’s not a clerical error. That’s a business model.

And then there’s Miami’s favorite pastime: motorized scooters flying down sidewalks like demolition derbies. I watched one miss an elderly woman by inches—at dusk, with two riders, no lights. When we confronted them, the teenage driver blamed us for being in the way. Apparently, pedestrians are now optional.

Why does this happen? Because too many people assume older adults won’t yell, won’t sue, won’t call the police, and won’t make a scene. And when they don’t, the abuse continues.

But here’s the truth nobody tells you: age is not weakness. Age is experience—with scars to prove it. Older adults have survived losses, disasters, recessions, illnesses, teenagers, and more. They’re often tougher than the people trying to take advantage of them.

National Elder Abuse Awareness Month is a reminder that the real danger isn’t aging—it’s believing the lie that getting older makes you powerless. Awareness is the first step. Action is the second.

If you or someone you love needs help navigating elder care, legal protections, or spotting warning signs early, I’m here to help. No one should face this alone."


H. Frances Reaves, Esq.

Aging With Grace is a health club for adults aged 50+. Planning should start before problems do.

Learn how membership can support you at https://agingwithgraceinfo.org/!