Caleb's Playlist

Makes my aching heart take a deep sigh to see Caleb’s rustic hand crafted bunnies are still on display 🐰

You Are Not Forgotten
Rest a little easier, my son, you were never alone
For now you are at home





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If you or someone you know is considering su***de, please contact the 988 Su***de and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text "STRENGTH” to t“e Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org

Grief is as contemplative as it is complex, constantly calculating the what-ifs stacked against the what will never be. How old would Caleb be now, what he would look like at 21 going on 22 this June, and what his life would have been like. For most of the day, I manage to contain and carry this complicated grief, but then a series of small and big things settle on my chest, causing a heaviness that’s hard to explain. Suddenly, I can’t breathe the same way. Bated breath in fear of not being able to continue containing the shattered pieces of my heart. It’s not me being dramatic or a sign of being stuck. It’s simply all my continuing love for Caleb colliding with reality again.

These contemplative landslides strike at the most unexpected times, during errands, showers, traffic or a jolting gasp in the middle of the night while searching for Caleb in the edges of my dreams. Often feeling isolated in this private pain, when no one can see me trying to steady myself or hear the silent scream echoing through the Caleb shaped chasm in my chest.

“Don’t wake me ‘cause I’m dreaming
Of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know never leaves too soon”

Angels On The Moon -Thriving Ivory



If you or someone you know is considering su***de, please contact the 988 Su***de and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text "STRENGTH” to “he Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org

You are not alone. Tomorrow needs you.

🎨 2025 Capital Chalk Art Fair at Memorial Park in Jefferson City, MO. Chalk art honoring Caleb, courtesy of Aunt Steph 💜 Thank you, , with heartfelt gratitude for keeping his memory alive while promoting Mental Health Awareness.

Matisyahu's 'One Day' added by Paula Lynne.

🎧Sometimes in my tears I drown
But I never let it get me down
So when negativity surrounds
I know someday, it’ll all turn around 🎶




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If you or someone you know is considering su***de, please contact the 988 Su***de and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org