8 By Design
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2025 was a year!!! I started the year off in my me of the darkest places of my life. I really thought that I had reached my breaking point and honestly it didn't get any better until.....I chose myself in every way possible.
I had carried the weight of shame over years of allowing my comfort to dictate my reality. I felt like a bad mom for staying in a bad marriage for way too long. I felt like I was the epitome of bad decision making and the universe was making me pay the price.
Living that way isn't sustainable and so I had to choose me. Everyday. I chose to pour into me. Commit to myself even if it was hard or uncomfortable.
Once I did, the world opened up for me and I was able to see things clearly. Make better decisions. Give myself real grace. I became a part of communities and built them. I lived, enjoyed the little moments, and planted seeds for my future.
I didn't think I could restart my life in my 40's but life has just begun!!!
11/12/2025
A year ago, I was stepping onto a college campus for the first ever!! I had no expectations other than I had to change my life.
One year later, I have switched majors, engaged in student life, been on the Deans List 3 times, got inducted into Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society, spoken at the Massachusetts Statehouse twice, shared my life's journey with countless people, was elected onto the Board of Trustees, and haven't stopped discovering parts of me that have been silenced for too long.
I have met so many other women like me, starting this college journey at different stages of their lives, overcoming the craziest obstacles and challenges, knowing that this IS the stepping stone to something better. Inspiration is always around the corner.
I used to be consumed with grief and loss and sadness but those emotions have been replaced with all the goodness, all the manifestations, and positivity.
There is no man that can take my education from me, no road block that I can't find my way around, and no opportunity for anything to silenced me.
04/19/2025
I thought I would just keep going up from there. That space was everything to me but the kids were growing and for a period of time, my husband and I tried to work things out. So I gave up the space I loved so very much and it was HARD AF.
Things didn't work out because fixing broken relationships requires so much work that honestly is quite exhausting. Neither of us were healed enough and ready to fix us so we agreed that after 17 years, we had to walk away from each other. It still isn't easy but I definitely do feel the stress that I initially felt.
But this space that I created. It was my sanctuary and I dream of the day when I can have my own space again. Where I walk in my truth, light all the candles and not have to worry about someone's son throwing their dirty socks and clothes on my freshly febreezed bed. I do not know if a relationship is in the stars for me and I'm becoming ok with that.
I also know that in today's economy, it's not easy to pack up and sell a house. Now, I'm not in a room with my husband anymore but I'm not in my space I deserve and that is the real deal goal.
I told you that I was gonna share the real stories behind all the creations, viral videos, and highlight reels of my IG life. Let's keep this going...
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