To Choose Joy

These are not the words I wanted to write. I was so thankful to be in remission. To be free from pain. To be able to walk and paint and surf and hike and drive my car and run around with my kids. I loved the words of that part of the story - the part of the story I’ve been getting to live in for the past few years.

But like most stories do, this one comes with a plot twist.

[Swipe through the images in my post to read the whole story. I couldn’t fit it all into the caption here.] 🤍

I had been planning on celebrating a landmark with you all. I wanted to share about how it’s been years since I’ve written about journeying through life in debilitating pain, because it’s the 11-year anniversary of the day I was diagnosed with CRPS. Instead, the disease has come back with a vengeance. And it’s been getting worse ever since. My legs and my feet, my arms and my hands, my back. Every movement, every contact with my skin, every breath. 

Am I scared? Absolutely. I have no idea where this is headed or what it’s going to mean for me and my family. But I still know that this isn’t a surprise to God. He saw it coming.

Am I sad? Deeply. I feel like the floor has been pulled out from underneath me all over again. But I still know that God is the One who carries me and I believe with all my heart that even when life is very much not good, He is still so, so good. 

If there’s one thing I know, it’s that God doesn’t change when our circumstances change. I really believe it: He’s still faithful and loving and good. 

My friend, I don’t know what you’re battling against today but I do know that pain is often invisible to the world around us. And that can make it hurt even more. So, can I just offer a shoulder to you so that you know you’re not alone? Because it’s true: you’re not alone.

Thank you all for walking beside me on this journey. On the good days and on the hardest ones.

Happiest Easter!

“And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.” (1 John‬ ‭5‬:‭11‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

My mom always says, “God isn’t slow; He’s thorough.”

My heart gets settled again and again when I remember that He’s never early or late. Everything He does is always at just the right time, and there’s nothing that happens that’s outside of His hands, His control, His perfect planning. Our response? Growing in trust, resting in hope, and worshiping Him while we wait. He’s got this.

Just what you needed to hear? Me, too, friend.

“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.” (Lamentations‬ ‭3‬:‭21‬-‭25‬ ‭ESV‬‬)

A thought for today if you’re waiting on God for something right now: when we pray for other people, it helps us to get outside of ourselves and whatever we’re carrying and walking through. 🍃 Drop something in the comments that I can pray for YOU about! 🍃