The Inner Work

The DARVO technique (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) is a common manipulation tactic used to gaslight and shift blame and make their partner feel like they’re the problem.

They’ll:
- Deny what happened,
- Attack your credibility or emotions,
- Reverse roles, making themselves the victim and you the offender.

Someone who uses gaslighting techniques like this are stuck in a wound of rejection in Inner Work Theory. This wound is all about shame and feelings self-rejection. They are stuck in a cycle of low self-esteem where they seek to avoid any possible shame - so they overcompensate with toxic behaviors to make themselves constantly look like the victim - thus escaping any blame/shame.

The best way to protect yourself from someone like this is to understand their wound and learn to set boundaries with this behavior or learn to walk away.

📚The Inner Work of Relationships book

- if you want to learn about people in 1 or more of the 8 wounds in order to protect yourself and create healthy empowerment, you can read The Inner Work of Relationships book. It's available on TikTok shop and Amazon!

The ultimate green flag is an accountable person. They emotionally regulate, show curiosity for your experience, and are able to navigate difficult conversations with respect.

📚 The Inner Work of Relationships book - if you want to learn how to build accountability and emotional intelligence, you can read The Inner Work of Relationships book. It's available on IG shop, TikTok shop and Amazon!