Relationship Explorations

The hardest thing about relationships is getting honest with yourself. What are you doing to enrich your relationship? How do you react when your partner tells you how they feel or what they think? Do you justify your actions because you feel triggered?

Your first step is creating motivation to change yourself. How would you benefit if you were kinder, more open, and listened more? The benefits will help you see what is possible.

Great relationships are possible!

Do you ever blame your partner for the lies you tell? It isn't that uncommon. Maybe your partner is a lie invitee (a term coined by Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson). That means a person who really makes it hard for you to be truthful. They yell or get mad or say you aren't telling the truth when you are. Over time you have decided it is easier to just tell them what they seem to want to hear.

But, you're not off the hook. Even if your partner invites you to lie, it is up to you to be true to yourself and them. They can't get better at accepting your truth if they don't hear it and your relationship will suffer.

So, just for today, see if you can stick to the truth, come what may. If your partner gets mad, I invite you to ask them nicely if they want the truth or a lie. Put the ball back in their court. You'll feel better about yourself as a partner and person. The more you practice the easier it will be and you can see if your partner is willing to take a step toward improving your relationship.

How has your relationship been affected by the pandemic?

20 Couples Reveal How Their Relationship Has Changed During the Pandemic After months of sheltering-in-place as the country continues to battle an ongoing public health crisis, COVID-19 has proven to be more than just a threat to one's physical health. Be it mental …

For those of you who have felt let down by therapists who labeled you as codependent and those therapists who have wondered why this approach does not work well.

Codependent Relationships... How Addiction Therapists Failed at Couples Therapy - 30 years ago, codependency was popular idea in therapy. But why have many clinicians and patients firmly rejected the idea of the codependent relationship?