Trinity Behavioral Health

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Social distancing ... no human contact ... fear of human-to-human interaction. These are the bellwether of today's reality. But, why is it no one is openly discussing the serious consequences of all this isolation? If we read the latest columns from the print media, we're told that we can only protect our wellbeing by avoiding human contact at all costs. The broadcast media derives gatherings of any type as selfish and social maleficence. Yet, it was not too long ago that both were lauding the scientifically proven benefits of social interaction and the need we as humans have to bond, communicate, and gather to ensure we have a long and robust life.

Don't get me wrong, there is a virus and for some, it is potentially deadly, but looking at the current numbers and statistics, so is social isolation. Since February of 2020, we've seen an increase in the number of teen and young adult su***des. In fact, young girls aged 11 to 22 have seen the largest increase in suicidal ideations by 84% by this time over last year. To put it another way, by the time you finish reading this article, 3 people will have died from su***de and an additional 4 will have considered taking their lives. Pause and think about that for a moment. Seven people will have attempted su***de and three will have succeeded. And the primary reason for this is a deep sense of hopelessness and loneliness. From February to September 2020, a full 47% of su***de survivors attributed the isolation and fear around the pandemic as the primary reason for their attempt. We've also seen increases in domestic violence, child abuse, and animal cruelty. All of these increases are directly and unquestionably tied to factors around the pandemic and social isolation.

From a physiological health perspective, we've seen an increase in mortality rates from patients who - out of fear - are delaying or forgoing treatments because of anxiety surrounding the contraction of the virus. We've also seen a marked decrease in the general health of our populous due to a lack of outdoor activity and general social contact. When we are around other people, we transmit germs, bacteria, and - yes - viruses that our immune systems build resistances to. This is how the body works and it actually boosts our systems - not unlike going to the gym to exercise. The more the body does of both - fighting with the immune system and exercise - it builds a fortification to handle periods of time when it is under stress, duress, and strain. Without that human-to-human contact and social interaction - or partaking in exercise - the body degrades or loses those important abilities. Thus, in the degradation or loss, we can experience serious consequences.

In the media, we're hearing that we should social distance and avoid crowds. While this is true to an extent, there must come a time when we begin to question and weigh the benefits against the drawbacks. We're not suggesting that anyone should unnecessarily expose themselves to a situation that is detrimental to their wellbeing. Far from it. But what we are suggesting is that prolonged isolation and distancing from other people can be just as damaging in the long term. This is especially true for our children and young adults.

We know that children continue to learn and mimic the actions and behaviors of their parents well into their later teens. These behaviors and patterns of thought, sometimes do not reveal themselves until well after the individual has reached adulthood - and in most cases, the unsupported ability to change these behaviors by one's self has been lost. Our children are resilient, but their emotional states are not. Fear, anxiety, depression, and physiological deterioration have been an important study since March of this year on our youths. While the study is ongoing, what the current research has shown, is that our next generation - ages 9 to 23 - are experiencing an 18% deterioration in physiological wellbeing and a 41% deterioration in their behavioral and mental wellbeing. The contributing factors are varied, but the single largest two components are fear based uncertainty and social isolation.

Decades of research and peer-reviewed studies cannot be undone by our current condition of the past 10 months ... humans need social interaction - not digital or video, but human to human contact and interaction - to be well-balanced, healthy, and stable. It wasn't so long ago that the media was touting how we should put our devices down and get together for more social interactivity. Even CEOs and leading tech executives strictly limit or disallow the use of electronics and social media with their own children. All of them have also stated that having their children and themselves involved in social interaction is a priority in their lives. (... haven't we all seen the photos of Facebook, Microsoft, and Apple leaders on the beach, at the park, and on trips with other people? ... just pointing that out to you.)

The virus is real. It is going to be a part of our lives for the foreseeable future, but we have to also understand the balances between safety precautions and the behavioral, mental, and physiological toll that nonhuman and lack of human-to-human interaction is having on ourselves and our families.

In the end, you have to decide. Logical, practical, and critical thinking skills must be applied. You have to make the final decision. It is a weighty decision. Make sure that final decision is based on well researched and logical facts. Questioning what you're being told isn't a bad thing. We were once told Pluto was a planet, that nothing would ever replace Newton's Laws, and that there was no water on Mars. We questioned, we learned, and we reasoned. We didn't just watch the news and believe without questioning. Perhaps, we should do the same now.

Below is an article the New York Times posted just 3 short years ago. It's an interesting read and provides scientific verification for what we've given you today.

Social Interaction Is Critical for Mental and Physical Health (Published 2017) Having friends is a critically important contributor to good health and longevity.

Happiness is elusive. Especially in our current situation. Life seems ... less ... for many, many people. They reflect on what is missing and what they feel has been lost. This often leads them to unhappy or remorseful states of mind. In truth, that is easy to do. If you turn on the television, you are almost immediately reminded of death tolls, rising numbers of sick, political dissent, and a host of businesses and family legacies being obliterated. Of course, our advice is not to watch the news or to at the very least limit what mainstream media you consume. With all of that being said, there are things to be thankful for. There are things to take joy in. There is a multitude of things to stoke your fires of happiness.

In this post, we'll discuss our second segment on the Happiness Factor - Gratitude. If you've read our posts previously, you'll know that gratitude is scientifically proven to 're-wire' the brain, increase your health, and give you a more positive, abundant, and fulfilled life. Gratitude is powerful. But, it is like anything else worth having ... it takes work to become proficient at. Changes do not happen overnight. It takes being thoughtful and consistent in your practicing of gratitude to see results - but, I can attest to you that if you are ... they will come!

Normally, it isn't appropriate to be personal in these posts. However, with this topic, I think the best way for me to start you out on this journey is to relate how gratitude has personally changed my views and - to a large part - my life. My journey began slowly. Most people who know me would say I was a 'realist' (... with perhaps a bit of pessimism, for good measure ...). After several personal setbacks in life, I began to wonder what it was going to take for me to turn the corner. What was it going to take to find ... happiness? For every step forward, there were several steps backward. Over time, it was easier to see the wrong and the darkness than to hope for the light. It was during a particularly low time that a friend reminded me of all of the things I had to be thankful for. Of course, my response was not exactly positive to that seemingly perfunctory advice. I thought to myself (... and may have said to them in a not so kind, outwardly voice with several colorful metaphors ...), this person doesn't understand the situation or the emotions I'm feeling, otherwise, they'd have never suggested that I had things to be 'thankful' for.

But ... I was wrong. As I sat there dwelling in my misery, I kept going back to what they had told me. Replaying in my head the list they gave me of all the things I had to be thankful for. At first, I was angry that they'd suggested them to me. Then, I became frustrated over the advice. Finally, after several hours, I became ashamed. I was trained in psychology. I knew the studies and research - from a purely scientific point of view - but I was allowing myself to become consumed with sadness, anger, and disappointment over my situation. They had been right, and I was wrong. I did have things to be thankful for - even if those things seemed limited by my current mindset. A day (... or maybe a week ...) passed before I was able to admit openly that I had been wrong. I called my friend and told them and asked for their forgiveness. I had taken the first step, but I promised myself it would not be my last.

The next day I committed to myself from that moment forward, I would find three things each morning and three things each evening to be 'thankful' for. I would begin to practice gratitude as a way of 'being,' and not just as words thought, said, or written down. But I did begin by simply saying the things I felt gratitude for out loud. Each morning, as soon as I woke up, I would think of three things I was grateful for. They were simple things - a pillow to sleep on, hot water to shower with, transportation to get to work in. At night, as I lay down to sleep, I would again find three other things to be grateful for - that I made it home safely, that I had a home to go to, that I had friends. I said these gratitude statements each day - every day - for three weeks. More importantly, I FELT the sincere and deep gratitude when I said them. I made sure to understand that there were people out there who DIDN'T have the things I was being grateful for. I didn't just go through the motions (... well, maybe I did the first few times, but after that I ensured I FELT what I was saying ...) I believed. I felt thankful. I experienced the gratitude in my mind and more importantly in my heart. That's when I was rewarded with the first change.

A colleague approached me and said that they'd noticed a change in me. They said I seemed much more relaxed and not as stressed as I had been in the past couple of months. Another coworker said that I was always smiling now, and how wonderful it was to see me happy. Both of these comments made me pause. I considered the compliments as I drove home. The reality was, I did feel happier. I also felt healthier and more relaxed. During the previous weeks, I had also begun the conscious practice of being grateful to clerks at supermarkets and stores, greeting strangers as I passed them when appropriate, opening doors and holding elevators for other people, and generally being mindful of my actions and civility towards other people. All of those things brought back a positive response to me that emboldened me to do it more and more.

As time has passed, I’ve continued these practices and added a Gratitude Journal to my routine. What I’ve discovered is my mind and emotions no longer look to the dark or to the negative, but to the possibility of positive and light. That does not mean that everything is sunshine and rainbows. I still have ‘those days,’ when I get frustrated, disappointed, and – yes – angry. However, what I’ve discovered is that I am much quicker to recover from those mindsets and that they do happen much less often. My finances haven’t changed, where I live hasn’t changed, what I drive hasn’t changed, the people whom I deal with on a daily basis haven’t changed … I have changed. I’ve become more positive and my resilience has increased. Things don’t trigger me as much as they used to and the little things aren’t an annoyance any longer. That doesn’t mean they have suddenly vanished, what it means is that my ability to ignore them or not allow them to impact my emotions and mindsets has been strengthened. I contribute that to my practice of gratitude. There have been other positive changes and as you read the other segments of our series on the Happiness Factor, you'll see how those changes have a cumulative impact on 'being happy.'

Still, need more evidence? The Health Department of Harvard University has put together some interesting research that might give you a little more confidence in how gratitude and happiness are linked. Check it out and we strongly encourage you to add gratitude to your day.

Giving thanks can make you happier - Harvard Health November kicks off the holiday season with high expectations for a cozy and festive time of year. However, for many this time of year is tinged with sadness, anxiety, or depression. Certainly, major depression or a severe anxiety disorder benefits mo...