Sacred Sound

Sidebar on GRIEF…

Before I continue my Lyme story, I want to reflect on grief as so many are carrying this heavy burden nowadays.

It occurred to me yesterday that it was the anniversary of one of the first significant losses in my life. I was only 18, in my freshman year of college, and my 18 year old high school classmate died in his sleep from a brain aneurysm. I remember that phone call from my mom like it was yesterday. And, I won’t date myself too badly, but it was many, many years ago.

When I returned to school after his funeral, I registered for my first Death & Dying class. I needed to make sense of this. In that class I wrote my own obituary and visited a funeral home to experience what it was like to complete arrangements as part of the class assignments. Little did I know that would be a real experience in my life less than 10 years later…

When I turned 27, my older brother took his own life…on my birthday. My mom was woken up in the early morning hours of her 50th birthday to the police officers delivering that news.

Grief doesn’t go away. It may feel better over time but when we don’t resolve it at the source, it will manifest in other ways.

I spent 18 years working in healthcare, much of that in hospice. I sat with people and their families as death loomed near.

Walking through grief journeys will always be near and dear to my heart’s purpose.

If you are grieving, please don’t feel the need to do it alone. There are people who care and want to companion you on that journey.

Chronic Lyme Disease - my story

What I am about to share is not for sympathy - these things are no longer part of my life and I am actually thankful for having lived through it! I am sharing this because it is my journey to where I am now. It is what brought me into the world of holistic healthcare and it is why I practice the way I do now in my business.

I am also sharing this to give hope to anyone else who may be battling this or any other chronic disease. There is hope! There are options.

My story is a long one so it will be in parts, as I find the time and the willingness to walk through it again. And I know it will be read by those who need to read it, exactly when they need to read it.

I am not really sure when I actually developed Lyme Disease. Looking back at my childhood into young adulthood and the chronic infections (strep, mono, walking pneumonia) makes me think I could very well have had Lyme most of my life.

The worst of it started in 2010 though, when I had what I thought was a spider bite on my arm. I developed a red ring around it (classic Lyme sign) but simply thought it meant it was an infected bite. I went to the doctor and was prescribed an antibiotic. The antibiotic caused me to develop hives all over my body. I was told it was because I was allergic to Sulfa. Maybe this is true, or maybe it was because my body was fighting a much bigger battle than we realized.

Not long after that experience I became ill with GI problems. I made no correlation between the two things at the time. I was referred to a GI doctor who ordered a colonoscopy. The colonoscopy prep landed me in the ER because, rather than cleaning me out, nothing happened! I was unable to eliminate anything and ended up staying in the hospital for 5 days and two more colonoscopy preps before I actually had the procedure.

I had a wonderful doctor at the time who was willing to put me through any and all tests possible to find an answer when the colonoscopy showed nothing. I swallowed pills and had subsequent multiple X-rays to track how it moved through my digestive system. I had an endoscopy, tons of labwork done, and other tests that I won't even share here because they are too personal and too graphic.

This medical dance went on for a year with no relief and no answers. My symptoms worsened and branched into other issues - I was incredibly fatigued and could only function long enough to work and then barely take care of my 6 year old son. I started having trouble breathing, developed chest pain, and then vertigo. More tests, more specialists, and no answers!

To be continued...