Practically Speaking, LLC

This week, I spent time with a group of IT leaders. For some, that might sound dull. Others might think, "She was with my people!" And some are likely wondering, "IT leaders… in a group? How’d you make that happen?"

(Stereotypes exist for a reason—hopefully, you’re laughing.)

They didn’t have name tents, so we made our own. I always include one that says, "Make your own name tent—bonus points for creativity." Then, I watch the fun unfold.

This group got creative—one tent featured mountain imagery, another had flowers, one used a different color for each letter, and my favorite: "Pedro—because there is no Spanish for Bob."

It’s easy to dismiss these activities as a "waste of time." But they aren’t.

A small moment of creativity can spark connection. Like with Pedro, who shared that in Spanish class, he was always Pedro—because his real name didn’t have a Spanish equivalent.

Isn’t communication always easier when you know something about the other person?

So, here’s a challenge: How can you connect with someone today? Bonus points for creativity.

My dad was a blue-collar guy. He worked for the phone company for nearly forty years. He was a cynic, a self-professed curmudgeon who didn’t think much of folks in executive roles.

Once, when I was debating whether to leave a job, he said, “Let me tell you something. At work, when you leave, it’s like pulling your finger out of a bucket of water. You won’t leave a hole.”

His words stung—and they rang true. Life goes on without us when we leave a job, a relationship, or even this earth. And, in most cases, someone else steps in to take our place.

But Dad missed something in his analogy: while the hole we leave may fill in, the ripple remains.

And we have control over the ripples we make.

Did we speak up when it mattered?

Did we listen when someone needed to be heard?

Did we own our mistakes and apologize?

Our words and actions shape the world around us. They leave lasting ripples long after we’re gone. The water may settle, but the impact remains.

So the real question is—what kind of ripples are you leaving?

I was coaching a leader recently who was completely unaware that his team found him intimidating. He thought his “direct style” was efficient. His team thought it was terrifying. When he found out, he was horrified. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?” he asked.

Well…because you’re terrifying, Steve. That’s why.

Here’s the thing: ignorance isn’t always the enemy.

Sometimes, it’s an ally. When we don’t know something, we have an opportunity to learn, adjust, and grow. Steve had a choice—double down on “that’s just how I am” or shift his approach. To his credit, he chose the latter. Over the next few months, he worked on pausing before speaking, softening his body language, and making space for conversation instead of just directives. The result? A team that was more engaged and, ironically, more efficient.

So, if you ever find out you’re the “Steve” in the situation, don’t panic. Take a breath and get curious.

Instead of assuming everything’s fine, ask your team (or colleagues or clients): “What’s one thing I could do to communicate better?” Then listen. No defensiveness. No justifying. Just listen. You might be surprised by what you learn.