The Radiant Life Project

The 3 most common emotional experiences that lead someone to go no contact with their parents:

Chronic levels of
☑️ feeling lonely
☑️ feeling unloved
☑️ and/or feeling misunderstood

Experiencing this over time, for months or years, creates a massive rupture in the trust, intimacy, and attunement between people - and in extreme cases, can plead to estrangement.

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“The Dark Triad” is a dangerous personality that once you understand its capabilities, you’ll want to keep yourself very protected from.

People with the Dark Triad personality demonstrate three powerful, dangerous qualities that act as a slow-release dose of psychological and emotional harm that unfold within your system for years and decades to gain the person ultimate control and power.

Here are the three qualities that in combination create the Dark Triad:

☑️ Narcissism: self-centered preoccupation with Self that disregards the needs, opinions, and perspectives of others, and focuses solely on how others can reflect well or benefit them.

☑️ Machiavellianism: a cunning, strategic, manipulative personality trait that will use others in strategic ways to meet their own ends, without regard for morality.

☑️ Sociopathy: having a fundamental lack of empathy and remorse, lacking the intrinsic humanity that is required for healthy connection and love.

If you know someone with these qualities, you know how dangerous they can be. Even as a 20-year licensed therapist, it’s still baffles my mind that people like this exist and that they raise children. Many who go no contact with toxic parents have a parent like this, and only discover it once they cut contact and reflect back from their safe position.

Do what you need to do to keep yourself and your family safe. People like this really do exist with far more prevalence than anyone wants to believe.

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It’s not always a clear picture when you realize you’re unsafe in your family system (psychology, emotionally, physically). The back-and-forth can last for years, even decades, because the bond of family is so unique and powerful.

This is why people who come from toxic families tend to endure massive harm and cruelty (that they never deserved) in the name of family. They try to stay anchored to their biological origins because it’s so unbelievably unnatural to cut ties with them.

No contact is such a difficult choice.
In my 20-years as a licensed therapist, and in my own experience of family estrangement, I have never seen this choice taken lightly or done impulsively. It is a last resort for people who feel they have tried everything to resolve relational discord, come up with no solutions, and find no evidence that anything will ever change. So they choose no contact to protect their health and safety, and that of their children.

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