Broken Beautiful Ink

I will not apologize
for not becoming what they need,
for turning my heart inside out,
for speaking honestly.
I will not barter with judgment
I will not bow to apathy
I forgive but refuse
to allow my history
to continue destroying
what beauty lies in me

I will not live
(or write)
to please

A. Shea

Old me never said no because I was terrified of disappointing someone.
I lived bracing for impact — always waiting for something bad to happen.

I took care of everyone but myself.
My body screamed, you’re broken.
My mind felt lost… numb… disconnected.

I was confident in one thing — and even that felt like it was all I had.
I craved validation. Acceptance.
I let the people closest to me shape who I thought I had to be.

I never felt truly safe.
I never felt stable.

But that isn’t who I am anymore.

Now I say no — gently, but firmly.
I wake up without waiting for disaster.
I still help people, but I don’t abandon myself to do it.

I’m not broken. I’m healing.
I’m not lost. I’m learning.

If someone doesn’t like me, I let them walk.
I’m not molding myself for anyone anymore.
I’m finding pieces of myself I didn’t know were still there.

For the first time in my life,
my feet feel like they’ve touched the ground —
and I’m learning how to stand.

— Christina L | Broken Beautiful In

Don’t Fix Me

Don’t fix me.
I’m not broken.
I’m bent in places where life hit hardest,
but I’ve never stopped holding myself together.

I don’t need a hero.
I need a witness.
Someone who sees that my path may change,
but I’ll still walk it with fire in my chest.

My body carries stories,
stitched in scar and bone.
And if one day I move through the world on wheels,
know this—
it doesn’t make me weaker.
It makes me relentless.
It makes me still moving.

And if you love me—
love the whole of me.
Not the “before,”
not the “after,”
but the now.

Because I’m not asking to be saved.
Just seen.
Just loved.
Just here.

— Christina Loar | Broken Beautiful Ink