Darienite

CAN'T TELL THE PLAYERS WITHOUT A SCORECARD: A SKIT

HUBBY: Hi, Honey, I got the flaxseed on my way home.
HONEY: Thanks, Sweetie! ... Oh, wait — This is flaxseed *meal* not the regular flax seed. You have to go back!
HUBBY: Huh?! There's a difference?
HONEY: Sure is. Flaxseed meal is what's left over after they take the oil out — the healthy oil with Omega-3 fatty acids in it.
HUBBY: [Groans] All right, I'll be back.
[---35 minutes later---]
HUBBY: Hi, Honey, I'm back!
HONEY: Great! ... Oh, hold on — this is whole flaxseed, not regular flaxseed. I wanted *regular* flaxseed!!
HUBBY: I figured whole flaxseed IS regular flaxseed. It's so regular that they didn't even grind it up.
HONEY: Nice try, big boy. Take this back and get me the stuff that's not whole seeds.
HUBBY: Ugh.
[---45 minutes later---]
HUBBY: Hi, Honey! I'm home!
HONEY: OK, what did you bring back this time?
HUBBY: Here it is. See the label? It's "Milled Flaxseed."
HONEY: But I wanted regular flaxseed, not "milled." Take it back.
HUBBY: This is where I've gotcha, Sweet Cheeks: I asked the store manager just to be sure: "milled" is the same thing as "ground," just a different name. "Milled" is NOT "meal." And the manager didn't think there was anything called "regular" flaxseed. It's meal or whole or ground, also known as "milled." You could look it up online.
HONEY: Oh.
HUBBY: So I forgot to ask you: What are you making with this flaxseed stuff anyway?
HONEY: Oh, just a quick "bread" recipe I saw on Youtube. Only takes minutes.
HUBBY: Minutes for you, an hour for me ...
HONEY: Oh, I forgot to tell you that I wanted "golden" milled flaxseed. At first I thought that was the brand name. The recipe wasn't clear about that. When I looked it up, I found out that golden flaxseed has a much milder taste than regular flaxseed, which has an earthier taste.
HUBBY: Grrrrrrrrr.
HONEY: Oh, and another thing: I see the recipe calls for baking *powder.* All I've got here is baking *soda.*
HUBBY: Here are the car keys. I'm getting a good stiff drink.

NARRATOR: And that's the difference between golden flaxseed, regular flaxseed, whole flaxseed, flaxseed meal, ground flaxseed and milled flaxseed. Except the last two are the same thing. And don't even use the phrase "regular flaxseed" unless you're mentioning it to distinguish golden from non-golden flax seed. That's clear, isn't it? And baking powder is different from baking soda. Avoid learning all this the hard way and save your marriage.

And here's the recipe:
https://youtu.be/CY8z84iAZs0?si=GaiwY4v-R0lGUOI3

This was fun to read:

Twelve Humorous Anecdotes from Train Conductor Michael Shaw’s Book (with a Hundred More) Being a train conductor seems like a simple, boring job: collecting tickets, opening and closing doors, reminding people to keep their feet off the seats. Yawn. But there’s a lighter side to the job, as I wrote a few years ago, based on former conductor Michael Shaw’s great book, “My Rail Life...

Sandy took great joy in celebrating others in their achievements, always ready with a smile and a hearty handshake of greeting or congratulation. All who knew him felt his warmth and curiosity, as he inquired about their latest pursuits and shared what he had learned from his own avid reading.
https://darienite.com/john-mcdonald-95-noroton-yacht-club-member-for-six-decades-helped-establish-plastic-recycling-standard-592268

Supt’s Newsletter: Send Qs for the Fireside Chat, This Weekend’s Sports, Thank a School Psychologist

Supt’s Newsletter: Send Qs for the Fireside Chat, This Weekend’s Sports, Thank a School Psychologist Dear Darien Community, If you were not able to attend the opening last night, I urge you to stop by UCBC Bagels in town and see the amazing display of student art work and creativity. You will see wonderful work from all grade levels, K-12. Congratulations to the artists and teachers who brought the...