The Diplomatic Scribe

STRESSFUL PERSONAL CONVERSATION TIP ABOUT BREAKING UP:

I'm playing Dr. Phil today! Take a look at this common question from a self-described Nice Guy about the "best" way to break up with his girlfriend.

QUESTION:

"Is there another way to say, 'It's ME, not you', when breaking up with someone, without it sounding like a cheesy lie? My girlfriend is great. I just can't focus on a relationship right now with my demanding career and family problems. So when I say 'It's Me', I mean it."

ANSWER:

GOOD: "I can't be in a relationship right now -- with anyone."

BETTER: "You know I have a lot going on at work, and my family issues aren't getting better. I'm not so sure I can give this relationship the time it needs."

BEST: You know I have a lot going on at work, and my family issues aren't getting better.The problem is ... I haven't yet learned how to handle stressful life situations AND keep a girlfriend happy. So until I do, I don't think I can give this relationship the time it needs."

Why I think that's best:

1. You're letting her know *exactly* what's going on with you.

2. You're taking responsibility for not being able to deal with those issues and hold on to your relationship.

3. The phrase, "can't keep a girlfriend happy" works because no woman in her right mind wants to stay in a relationship where she'll be unhappy. So it serves as a gentle warning.

If you notice, my advice focuses on language -- finding the right words and phrases that will render your message more palatable.

* Questions presented in my Q & A series are *based* on situations experienced by seminar participants, clients, colleagues, friends and family...even myself! I have altered minor facts to protect the innocent AND the guilty! (smile).

The Diplomatic Scribe is a ghostwriting and communications coaching service. Using customized scripts, I help influential professionals craft and deliver delicate and sensitive messages tactfully.

What kind of messages? Any workplace communication that, if not handled directly, can lead to dire consequences!

FOR EXAMPLE

Saying No
Delivering Bad News
Presenting Performance Reviews
Asking for a Raise or Promotion
Promoting Raise-worthy Accomplishments or Ideas
Asking for What You Need
Communicating with a "Difficult" boss, colleague or client