Renew Hope

I cringe when I hear parents make statements like, “He is so bad” because it goes to the personhood of the child instead of their choices, actions, or consequences. A child will live up to the expectations of the significant people in their lives. It is far better to remind them to “make good choices” or help them to realize that a “bad choice has a bad consequence”. If they are told that THEY are bad, stupid, lazy, fat, etc., they begin to believe it and behave accordingly, which is usually just the opposite of what the parent is wanting and expecting. The reality is that we are not motivated by being told negative things about ourselves. Equally as important, instead of praising a child for who they are (“good girl”), praise them for what they did (“good job” “good choice” “that was awesome”) Two important lessons are taught in the process: they are loved and capable NOT they are loved because they are capable. For more helpful information on self-esteem in children, check out this article by Dr Lyness https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/self-esteem.html

I believe our most valuable sense of self-esteem comes in knowing how much God loves and values us! Blessings, Nyla