Lighthouse Life Solutions - Founder and CEO

🌟🙏🏼 Leadership Challenge Marination:

Our greatest weaknesses are our unguarded strengths. We can be so exceptional at something, that we take it for granted, and subsequently, leave it unprotected, which results in carelessness. I know this all too well… even very recently. I continue to learn this in many ways.

If you are a leader, or an aspiring leader, in any avenue of life, this is a challenge to our credibility… and it’s not in the exposing of our imperfections, which as humans, we all have. On the contrary.

Perfection does not equal credibility. Position and power do not equal credibility. Who you ARE, your character, your maturity, your substance, equals your credibility.

And REAL credibility gets damaged when we hide and deny our imperfections, fail to take personal responsibility for them, and in doing so, we inadvertently, wound the very ones we are hoping to care for.

I always say, “If you want credibility, simply be credible. It’s not any more difficult or complicated than that.”

What does that mean?

In short, we all have imperfections, so own them, apologize if merited, learn, correct course, improve, be better and do better. We are all masterpieces in progress, our job is to stay in the progress. And in doing so, we are leading by example and showing others the way also. Those you lead, mentor, coach, and care for, deserve that, in the very least. And additionally, they will respect and trust you all the more for doing so.

In kind, as you are leading them, teaching them, helping them, then by beautiful design, you will benefit from how THEY will teach YOU, sharpen you, make you better at what you do. My clients do this for me almost every day. I gratefully welcome that blessing in my life! 🙏🏼♥️☺️

Having been UNDER so much BAD leadership in my life, across many avenues of life, has carved a deep, indelible impression within the core of my very being, that changed me forever, but for the better. Those experiences taught me how to NOT lead in like manner, but rather, to endeavor to be the leader I would appreciate having, to take intentional, conscious responsibility to lead (serve) in a better way, to be an exception to what has sadly been the rule.

And even so, in my own humanness and imperfections, I still miss the mark, I inadvertently fail others. And this troubles me because I so desperately want to NOT do/be that. Far from. So I have to keep working at doing better and being better.

From leaders/bosses/coaches/clergy, etc., who could NOT take responsibility for how they hurt me, and could never apologize, nor acknowledge one iota their own issues, rather, they mistakenly saw their “position” or “so-called authority,” as validation that they were always right, thus, deeply wounding me, failing me, abusing me.... because they could.

They “reacted”.... defensively, and they inappropriately put all the responsibility back on me, for whatever I felt and experienced at their hands, as if everything was just about my issues.... thus doubling down on the pain and hurt, and leaving me to figure out a way to heal and move forward without the rightful resolution I deserved.

Can anyone relate? I’m confident I’m not alone in these experiences…

And here’s a tragic and sad statistic: I’ve only ever received in my life approximately 5% of the apologies I’ve deserved.... from anyone… ever....

Yet I don’t live as a victim. In fact, regardless, I know it is my job and responsibility before God, to forgive, and allow Him to heal my heart and make me better, not bitter. Which He faithfully has. If I didn’t, I would be a very “old” young lady, weighted down with that much bitterness for all I have suffered in life. Instead, my heart is light and full of love. And a fire is lit under me to make sure that I never miss giving the apologies I ought, that others deserve.

And while I did not have control over what those leaders chose to do or not do, I always had (and have) the power to choose to react in a way that would please God regardless, and move forward into the beautiful freedom He wants for us all.

I have found, that in the work I do, not everyone knows they also have that same power, let alone ANY power, let alone how to free themselves from the ball and chain of these wounds. Because of my experiences, I’m now able to help in how God can heal them and free them from those things ruling and ruining their lives.

There is power even in our pain, and our mess can become our message! That’s great news!! 🌟🎶

“Credibility is in our ability to take responsibility,” and to do all that’s within our power to right our wrongs. (I’m still working on stuff). As leaders, this is OUR job. The TRUE measure of our credibility, is to lead by example, with humility, honesty, and integrity. They deserve that very best from us.

The challenging and self-examining questions I ask myself:
*What kind of leader am I?
*What kind of leader do I want to be?
*Am I willing to own my imperfections, take responsibility with humility for how those imperfections impact others?
*Am I doing my best, to first practice what I preach, thus making things right where needed?
*Am I apologizing where due? Am I forgiving and gracious with every opportunity?
*Am I being careful to not deny how others are experiencing me in our interactions, resulting in making the initial injury twice is detrimental?

The Bible warns: (James 3:1) “many ought not seek to lead for you will be twice as accountable/judged more strictly.” We are held to account for the lives we are impacting, for better or worse. Ought that be enough to keep us humble and in perspective? I say, oh definitely yes. 🙏🏼

I believe we all want our impact in the world to be positive, and to be the absolute best we can give. I believe we all want to make a positive difference, and to leave others better for having connected with us.

And that being the case, I endeavor to keep this reminder ever before me: It’s not about “perch and preach,” it’s about lifting up others WITH me. It’s about THEM. Leadership is actually a responsibility to care for, to serve, not an opportunity to have power over, to feed ego.

I remind myself:
*Don’t be defensive, be responsible.
*Don’t pridefully deny your imperfections, humbly take responsibility for them and grow.
*Don’t “double-wound” those you claim to care about as a result. Truly love and serve them with THEIR best interest at heart.
*Seek to serve and not to power-over. *Don’t seek prestige, simply seek to serve.

REAL credibility is on the line. But WAY MORE importantly, their lives are. And they deserve the very best we can give. ♥️ The world could be a better place for our doing so. And we all have the power to make such a difference by leading in that much-needed “Servant Leadership” way, especially right about now. 🙏🏼☺️🌟

“We are only true Leaders, if others follow.”

TODAY’S THOUGHT MARINATION: 💡🙏🏼♥️

One true test of one’s character, is the ability to NOT return hate for hate, and evil for evil, including vengefully wishing it on anyone. (Luke 6:27-28) tells us, “But to you who are willing to listen, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you, and pray for those who hurt you.” This is the proper response to any and all hate. This is what it means to be “above” the hate.

You can’t put out fire with more fire, and you can’t squelch hate with more hate. If that is where you go when your perceived enemies are befallen with any kind of misfortune, then “check YOURSELF before you wreck yourself,” as they say. Taking a stand to stop hate, while hating yourself, in any form, completely undermines your “cause.”

If you truly want hate to stop, PRACTICE LOVE, doing good, blessing, and praying instead... if you want your stance to have credibility, practice these things FIRST. You can’t bring up in the bucket, what ain’t down in the well. What is in the well of your heart? (Luke 6:45) says, ”what you say flows from what is in your heart.” Want to know someone’s heart? Listen to their words. Want to understand your own heart (and character)? Listen to your own words.

Every day, especially during these most challenging of times, in an unfortunate age of divisiveness, cancel culture, and easy access to “hit-and-run” type posting, online bullying and trolling, we are all presented opportunities to either be full of that ugly fire, or full of healing water that puts out the fire. We all have the power of our choice, to choose the latter and “be the change we want to see.” That’s more than just a cool mantra, it’s a life changing directive we should ALL endeavor to seriously practice daily. And if we all wield the power of personal responsibility, that change would happen a lot faster.

So I make that my prayer, MY personal responsibility, MY choice, to practice what I preach, if you will, to be water and not fire, to work on my own heart and character, and to love, do good, bless, and pray. That’s my personal challenge, that’s my personal goal, and that is my hope and prayer for us all.
🙏🏼😌❤️

TODAY’S THOUGHT MARINATION: 💡

If you are like me, you hate getting stuck in traffic. I’m a busy woman with things to do, and I like to get them done expeditiously and productively. I want to get where I need to get, and I don’t want to be impeded.

But in life, sometimes, we get caught in “traffic,” and it can be very frustrating. Believe it or not, sometimes I even cop an attitude, so I’ve been asking God to forgive me and help me to change. And in answer to that prayer, as I have begun to surrender more to accepting “traffic,” not only am I less frustrated, He has begun to speak to me about the PURPOSE in being held up in “the waiting”...

Again, I don’t like waiting, but God is showing me, HE is in the waiting. He is IN it! And I am missing that! I am missing all the treasures that ONLY exist with Him in it, by rushing through the BUSY-ness of everything else. Traffic is a good thing! It forces us to stop, and not miss those treasures, those blessings He so much wants us to have.

Further, these treasures and tools are NEEDED for what we are meant to do, when we get to where we are going! Even though we believe we are already ready. We’re not... which is why we get impatient and frustrated... but thank God, He never ceases to ensure we have all that we need for every good work. Including frustrating traffic! That’s mercy, that’s grace, that’s love!

Remember, the higher the tree, the deeper the roots must go. If you are meant to be like a strong, tall oak tree, who never moves regardless what (or who) slams against it, then it is going to take time to GROW there. Time. And that necessary time, for the necessary growth and transformation, only happens in the waiting.

Again, the fulfillment of dreams delayed, is not fulfillment denied. Because God is in the “waiting” too... where we gain all we need, to be prepared, to receive in full, the promise of dreams fulfilled. So surrender to, and embrace the waiting... it is a significant part of dreams fulfilled.... no matter how long you have been waiting.... God is in the waiting too.

(2 Peter 1:5-9) “For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities, in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive... But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.”

Yes! 🌟♥️😊

TODAY’S THOUGHT MARINATION:
Being “sharpened” is not always a fun process. Sometimes it’s downright painful. But if we yield to its work, “eternal treasures of the soul” are made, and its beautiful to everyone who sees it. Diamonds are made from pressure, gold is purified by fire, and pearls are created from friction/irritation. How many of us experience these things in life? Right? All of us. The treasure is born from how we RESPOND. Like 2 pieces of sandpaper being rubbed together, we can either rub each other raw or rub each other smooth. Who are those in your life that create pressure, fire, irritation? They are there for a reason.... to bring forth the real treasures in you! And we are the same to others. We sharpen each other! And this is a GOOD thing! You were made to shine, in your unique and special way, so yield to the sharpening, and let your treasures shine through! It is the gift you bring that blesses others and helps make the world a better place for all. ❤️🌟🎶🙏🏼