Daniel Grothe

Some people are calling it “fake outrage”. No, it’s not fake. It’s real.

America has always been at her best when she can respectfully disagree over policy and political ideology. Many women and men have bled and died for such a right to be ours. We all ought to respect such a sacrifice which has given us such a right.

But for the Office of the President to harness a centuries-old racist trope—no less in America, a land where for 400 years slaves were denigrated and wantonly destroyed, and often destroyed “in the name of Jesus”—is beyond offensive. It is near the level of the absurd.

One should never mock another. One should be even slower to mock a man and his wife who have figured out ways of staying married and in love for all these years. Honoring vows and demonstrating commitment ought to be celebrated, even learned from.

I wouldn’t tolerate a shred of this calloused condescension from my children or from my friends. We should not tolerate it from the President, *any* President. Ever.

That should not be a controversial statement.

I am learning that CURIOSITY is better than CONCERN.

Curiosity is a fruitful use of your energy.

Concern is unfruitful, sapping your strength, depleting your energy, leaving you with nothing to show for it.

There will be moments that are irruptive, disruptive, confusing, challenging, anxiety-inducing even. A natural fight-or-flight response will fire within us, and we will be tempted to let the situation sit in our souls and psyches in the form of amorphous concern. If left there, it will toxify and turn us into a knot of anxiety.

When that happens to me, I’m now training myself to be curious. To ask questions about it. To bring my friends, or a family member, or a coworker into the conversation to get their perspective on it. I’m learning to read and research more in the direction of the challenge. I’m learning to write up little epistles to myself or to a trusted friend that articulate how the disruption made me feel. The very act of talking about it, writing about it, asking questions about it is a way of untangling the ball of yarn that’s threatening to sit knotted up within me.

Curiosity is a way of returning serve on anxiety. Don’t let concern passively “happen to you”. Respond to it with curiosity so that you can take up your agency and start happening to it.

This is my yearly digital yearbook post to document the growth of the children and to put these pictures in a time capsule that we can log back into and dig up in decades to come. Which is to say we took family pictures.

Lillian, 18, is in her first year of college and she’s owning life. Her greatness and excellence and kindness and confidence is in full bloom, opening up for others to see. She’s studying hard and running at occupational therapy. We’ll see where it goes, but it’s at least going toward greatness.

Wilson, 16, is a full-blooded sophomore, growing, growing, growing, getting up at 5am to lift weights for football, for basketball, for anything with a ball. He’s driving and loves to drive. Funny, a leader, with the people, while still aching to tuck away with a 600-page book. I admire the rare combination of big power and quiet composure.

Wakley, 13, is our life-of-the-party human, winsome, wise, prayerful, playful. He became a golfer this year. His swing is smooth as butter, and he shot an 82 from the blue tees last week. Never met a stranger. He loves to gather people and be in the holy swirl. Something beautiful is developing here.

Lisa is a dream, born deep from within the heart of heaven. She’s as gracious as the day is long. I’ve watched her make hard decisions from a place of faith, even when it scared *me*. She was right and I saw it unfold. How did I get her?

I’m simply blessed to be with all of them. My face is showing that the years are passing, but the years are bringing joy, which means we are laughing, and who even wants to die with skin stretched taut across their face?

We have our faults and fragilities like the next family, but we also are working to have (and to keep) each other. And for every day that we have it, we give thanks to God Almighty.