Loco Love Photography

Silent Night is my favorite Christmas song. Since Malakai died, this season feels heavy. And every Christmas song has a new meaning to it. A deeper and more sad meaning. I’ve been wrestling on how I have to sit with this tension for the rest of my life. The ache of always missing him here on earth, the hope of seeing him again one day in heaven. They say “it’s the most wonderful time of the year,” but for many it’s not. For many are missing babies and loved ones. For many are missing the hopes and dreams they once had. For many are grieving loved ones who are still alive. For many are wrestling with God and screaming at Him in the silence. But He’s there in the silence sitting with us. Weeping, holding, and loving us in the silence. 😭 🩵

Our rainbow girl 🌈 I have a complicated relationship with the term “rainbow baby.” On one hand, it’s a beautiful representation of life that can come after loss. On the other hand, it doesn’t take away any of the pain. More than anything, I like to focus on how God sent a rainbow as a promise to us of His covenant. He is faithful to His promises; that He will never leave us or forsake us. I can’t tell you He promises more children. I can’t tell you He promises full healing this side of heaven. I can’t tell you He promises a life without tragedy. His promise is that even in the storm He will send a rainbow reminding us that He is with us and He will make all things new on earth AND in heaven.