Azimuth Psychological

🛑 Stop self-sabotaging by saying “I’m too old [for]…”

👋🏼 As therapists, we hear all too often clients use the self-sabotaging language of "I'm too old for..." which often leads to negative consequences on personal and professional levels. You may have heard that as you age, you become less capable of learning new things, or participating in activities that can nourish your well-being. This (incorrect!) narrative risks preventing you from achieving your goals and developing your growth potential.

Instead, research on this global phenomenon conducted by Romaioli and Contarello (2019)* suggests several counter-narratives to help break away from these troubling beliefs so that you can remain positive and resourceful despite - or even thanks to - your advancing age. 🌟 Here are two of our favorites:

💪🏼View aging as an opportunity; for enrichment, renewal, serenity, and the discovery of other abilities. Adopting this counter-narrative undermines the very premise on which the "too old for..." construct is founded, and extinguishes the fear of aging or being "too old" for something.

💪🏼Focus on willpower - of making the effort to meet life’s challenges with determination. This focus on willpower is associated with personal values such as self-fulfillment and inner strength, and facilitates developing a strong identity; an identity that enables individuals to cope successfully with the adversities of daily life.

So, let's take off those “old-colored glasses” and replace them with some “rose-colored glasses” for aging - the kind that will foster a positive and resourceful attitude to help you create, and say yes, to yourself.

Take away points:
1. Don't let the " I’m too old for..." narrative hold you back from achieving your goals.
2. Counter-narratives such as an alternative representation of aging, and focusing on willpower, may help combat this form of self-sabotage.
3. Remember, age is just a number and it has little to do with your actual potential. 💫

💡*Romaioli D, Contarello A. "I'm too Old for …" looking into a self-Sabotage rhetoric and its counter-narratives in an Italian setting. J Aging Stud. 2019 Mar;48:25-32

Our Team has been digging into our latest book club read by Sharon Salzberg and having some great conversations.

This picture was shared today and reminds us of the very meaningful work we do with our clients; and that while happiness is within our grasp, we don't have to go it alone ✨

Series: out-of-the-box strategy of the week: “AND”

The idea that things have to be either/or is insidious in our day-to-day.

We feel pressure and discomfort when we have to make decisions, whether they be about actions or emotions.

We search for this strict dichotomy, because integrating two things that are in conflict feels uncomfortable and hard. We don’t have a lot of practice doing it.

But the sooner you can add “AND” into your statements and decision making, the more realistic and possible things become.

One reason why individuals don’t feel connected to their companies is because they don’t feel seen.

This may relate to not hearing positive feedback about one’s work - but even more commonly, the fact that so much of a person is unknown to those around them.

There is a fine line between professionalism and invisibility, and good companies know how to do both. It’s possible to keep it professional while also showing interest and helping employees with other parts of their lives.

If I’m stressed about a home situation, I’m distracted and feel negatively about my abilities at work. But if I’m able to appropriately share this situation with a trusted colleague and receive empathy and advice, I can to focus and perform closer to my peak.

💡 As a bonus: I would also feel more connected to the company, who shows they actually care about me as a person, not just as a hamster running in their wheel.

It does not take a huge effort to ask a follow up question about someone’s weekend or ask how they are if they seem off to you!

⭐ Attention to these small details are a great way to show employees and colleagues they matter.